Uninvited Company
by Kasani
Summary: What would you do with absolute control over a homunculus? This is precisely the situation Amara finds herself in when Envy crashes unexpectedly into her life. But things are never as straight forward as they first appear. It doesn't take long for her to realize that living alone with the palm-tree-like sin isn't going to be a walk in the park. Crack fiction! Hints of EnvyxOC
1. Chapter 1

**-Author's Note-**

**So for those of you awaiting the sequel to BVOH (By Virtue of Humanity), I'm sad to say this isn't it. Although I _am_ in the process of working on that. The idea for this particular story popped into my head and refused to leave me alone until I addressed it though. So here it is. It's only about one-third of the length of BVOH, which is why I was able to write it in under a month. Yes, this story is already finished. Although since there's technically only 5 (rather long) chapters, I'll be spacing out the uploads a lot more than I did with BVOH.  
**

**A couple brief things I wanted to point out: This is a crack fiction. So I think you'll find the tone is rather different from my last story. And while I don't think Envy is too horrifyingly out of character for the majority of the story, I've been a _lot_ more flexible with him than I was in BVOH. Also this fiction is based on Brotherhood, not the 2003 anime. And yes, I concede that there are hints of EnvyxOC, however there aren't any actual pairings in this story. And finally, I apologize for inflicting another depressed OC on you. It's more fun to write about stuff that I'm dealing with personally. At least this one isn't bipolar ;)  
**

**Oh, and the story is rated T mainly for coarse language. But there's also some violence and suggestive themes. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"I am so screwed," Amara buried her face in her hands, elbows resting on the desk in front of her.

"Hey now, it'll be fine. You're a smart girl. I'm sure you can pull it off," the blond girl sitting across the table from her had a pixie cut and a number of piercings in her ears, eyebrow and lip. Her expression was unconcerned. Amara peeked through her fingers at the girl, blue eyes filled with skepticism.

"Rachel, you have no idea. There's so much I have to get memorized and I still don't even understand a third of it. And I've only got a week to study…" her tone was despairing. Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Well you aced the last accounting course you took. I don't understand why you're so worried," she pointed out. Amara smiled bitterly. Yeah, her first A+ on a university course had been in accounting. But things had changed since then. She hadn't been thoroughly depressed while trying to study for that exam….

"Well, I'll just barricade myself in my apartment and study nonstop and _maybe_ I'll manage to pull off a passing grade," she muttered. Rachel gave her an incredulous look.

"A passing grade? Amara you're practically a straight A student. I'm sure you'll get a 70 at the very least!" her tone left no room for argument. Amara sighed. She didn't share her friend's confidence. What she hadn't told the girl was that she'd barely managed to pull off a 60 on the midterm… And she'd felt a lot more confident about that exam then she did about the upcoming final.

"Yeah well…I should go. I have to get to work on the final unit before I can start my review, and I study better at home anyway," she rose from her chair and bent to pick up her book bag full of textbooks. Rachel rose as well, a concerned frown on her face.

"Are you sure you don't want to come back to my place and study for a bit? You haven't had much of a social life lately," her tone was a little anxious. Amara gave her a friendly smile.

"Thanks for the offer, but I've also gone a _ton_ of housework I'm behind on. I need to get that done while I listen to the online lectures," she replied, her voice suddenly much more cheerful sounding. Rachel raised an eyebrow, obviously not entirely convinced by her friend's abrupt mask of happiness.

"Well, alright. Give me a call this evening and let me know how the studying is going, okay?" she asked. Amara nodded.

"Sure thing," she replied, grabbing the grey winter jacket that had been thrown over the back of her chair and pulling it on. She zipped it up and shouldered the bag before strolling away across the library. When she reached the doors she hesitated. She could feel her friend's worried gaze resting on her from across the quiet room. She glanced back and shot the blond girl a reassuring smile and a wave before turning and heading out the automatic sliding doors.

An icy winter wind buffeted her and blew a light spray of snow against her face. She slipped her hands into her pockets and hunched her shoulders against the cold. Her ears and nose were already beginning to burn slightly, while the wind whipped her long coppery hair about her face. Damn she hated winter. It was bleak, and dark, and cold and dead. And this year its arrival had brought on a rather debilitating depression. It felt like the longest winter in her entire 18 year existence.

Her apartment wasn't far from the library, so it had made more sense to walk than take a taxi. Rachel had offered to give her a lift but she'd turned it down saying she needed the exercise. Which was true, going for walks was beneficial. But more than anything she wasn't in the mood to be around people. She just wanted to be alone. And alone was precisely what her apartment promised.

She'd been living by herself for about half a year. Money wasn't an issue in her family. Her parents happened to own the apartment complex she was living in and didn't make her pay rent. They'd let her move there without much fuss. Her dad was a high ranking government official and tended to be distracted and aloof. But he'd always been overly indulgent to his only child, as if giving her everything she asked for somehow made up the fact that his job mattered more to him than his family. Her mother cared about her and wanted her to succeed, but she was also a worsening alcoholic and was the main reason Amara had wanted to get away in the first place.

She turned a corner and the four story apartment complex she called home came into sight. The siding on it was blue-grey, with lacy white trim around the doors and windows. She hurried forward and bounded up the small staircase to the front door, whipping her card key out of her pocket and swiping it in the slot before swiftly yanking the door open and darting inside.

The heat which washed over her was a blessed relief. Her face and ears felt like they'd been lit on fire as they began to thaw. She headed across the foyer to the elevator, pressing the button and shivering slightly as she unzipped her jacket to allow the heat to seep in. Even the warm black turtleneck which hugged her slim frame and the long-johns beneath her faded blue jeans hadn't managed to ward off the chill. It wasn't any surprise really. It was likely -40 degrees Celsius out there with the wind chill. Typical January day in western Canada…

The elevator arrived a moment later. She walked in and pressed the 4th floor button, leaning against the wall tiredly as the elevator jerked into motion. The usual boring elevator music played from a speaker in the roof. She'd never been a fan of the stuff. Not that she had anything against easy listening music, but she preferred something a bit more forceful… like…say… Avenged Sevenfold or Breaking Benjamin.

Suddenly the speaker gave an odd crackling noise, before letting out an ear piercing squeal. She jumped in surprise, and then her eyes widened as a very familiar piece of music began to play from the speaker. She stared at the speaker, a little stunned. Why the hell was J-pop playing? She recognized it as Period, one of the Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood opening themes. She frowned slightly. They never played that sort of music…. Had someone accidentally switched the channel? If so, they should have done it a long time ago. It would've made the elevator rides more enjoyable…

The elevator came to a stop at the 4th floor a moment later, the doors opening with a ding. With a final, weirded out glance at the ceiling speaker she made her way out of the elevator and down the hall. Her room was the farthest one at the end on the left hand side, apartment number 48. She slipped the card key into the reader and pushed open the heavy wood door.

The comforting smell of vanilla washed over her. She'd forgotten she'd left a woodwick candle burning on the kitchen counter. The apartment wasn't overly large. The small living room, kitchen and front door shared the same room. The fridge and stove were a shiny stainless steel, and black granite topped counters made a barrier between the kitchen and the rest of the room. The tiled floor of the kitchen and porch was black, while the soft living room carpet was a dark slate color. The walls were a wash of light brown with darker stained baseboards and crown molding. A large window overlooked the snow covered city, and a glass sliding door lead out onto a small balcony. The only furniture in the room consisted of a worn looking grey loveseat, a coffee table, and a flat screen TV on the wall across from the small couch.

She slipped off her boots and headed down the hall which led to the bathroom and her bedroom. The décor of the bedroom matched the living room, although the swirling gold bed spread on the queen sized bed added a much needed splash of color to the room. Another window looked out over the city, with long, black curtains pushed off to either side. A small dresser in one corner, a bedside table and a small desk with a laptop and computer chair made up the rest of the furniture.

She dropped her book bag to the floor and made her way over to sink down onto the plush covers of the bed. The place was a little dreary looking. Ordinarily she'd want at least a few pictures on the walls to liven the place up, but she hadn't had the energy or desire to do anything with the place since she'd moved in. It was all she'd been able to do to stay focused on the one correspondence university course she currently had on the go. Her gaze fell on the pill bottles on her bedside table: sleeping pills and antidepressants. Her lips twisted into a bitter smirk. They hadn't really been doing her much good.

She raked a hand through her wavy hair tiredly. She needed to get to work on studying. There was _so_ much to get done. But every time she opened her textbook the only thing she could think was _I'm totally screwed. _And the longer she tried to study the more toxic her thoughts became. She hadn't told anyone how much worse the depression was getting. She hadn't mentioned to her doctor that she was growing more and more temped to just take the whole bottle of sleeping pills and be done with everything. No, saying that would mean admitting that the depression was winning. That she really was as weak and useless as she felt. It would confirm that the nasty little voices in her head were right when they said she was just a deadweight that pulled everyone around her down and all she ever did was make people worry... No, it was far better to tough it out alone then subject herself to that. With a sigh she dragged herself across the room to the laptop and sat down, pulling up the website for her course.

Several hours later it had already grown dark outside. Sunlight disappeared much earlier in the winter. Amara sat with her head resting on her folded arms on the desk. She was trying so hard, but it was ridiculously difficult to focus past the pain and exhaustion; especially when she really didn't give a damn about what she was studying anymore. She glanced up at the screen dejectedly. There was no way she could take any more of this right now. She clicked the exit button on the browser and came face to face with a psychopathic grin on the face of a palm-tree-haired homunculus as her desktop wallpaper. A confused frown settled across her features. She couldn't remember adding any pictures of Envy to the list of wallpapers which the laptop shuffled through... Odd… Not a bad idea though. She'd been meaning to add some new pictures to the list anyway. A faint smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She wouldn't mind watching that particular anime again. It had been a blessed distraction the previous month…

As she stared at the picture an intense wave of fatigue washed over her and she felt her eyelids beginning to slip shut. She blinked them open in surprise, straightening up in her chair. She'd been exhausted for most of the day, but this was the first time in a while she felt like she could actually fall asleep. She raised an eyebrow at the grinning homunculus.

"Apparently you work better than my sleeping pills. Who would've guessed," she murmured dryly. She got to her feet and headed over to her dresser, pulling open the drawer and blindly searching around for some PJs. The room was only lit by her laptop screen and the streetlights from the city outside. She hadn't been kidding when she'd said she was behind on housework. There was an enormous pile of laundry sitting unwashed in the washing machine at the end of the hall; which was where the majority of her PJs were… She grabbed the first item she found, which happened to be an old, too large blue T-shirt which fell to mid-thigh when she wore it. It was a little chilly for this time of year, but it was probably the closest thing to PJs she was going to find at the moment.

It didn't take long to strip off her everyday clothes and chuck them in the corner before slipping into the nightshirt. She made her way swiftly over the bed, goose bumps prickling across her exposed skin from the cool air. She hadn't bothered to turn the furnace up to a reasonable temperature so the room had grown rather chilly. But the cold only added to the heavy sleepy feeling that was spreading through her body. It would feel so good just to lie down…

She slipped under the heavy blankets, nestling into the soft mattress and letting out a sigh of relief. Crawling into bed hadn't felt so good in ages. Usually she would simply lie awake, feeling exhausted and miserable but unable to fall asleep. But now she could already feel sleep claiming her as her eyelids slipped shut. Maybe the depression was relinquishing some of its old on her; although that was probably too much to hope for in the middle of winter. Either way unconsciousness was a relief.

* * *

_"Ah, good. You're finally here," the strange inhuman voice was eerily familiar. She'd been slipping through the usual uneasy, nightmarish dreams that came with her depression, until her consciousness had suddenly come into startling focus as she landed in an alarmingly vivid dream. Everything around her was white and empty; except there was a very large, familiar looking door, and a very odd, white humanoid creature with nothing but a grin for a face. Well…her subconscious had certainly outdone itself this time. Why on earth was she dreaming about Truth? _

_"Umm…what's going on exactly?" she questioned, a puzzled expression playing across her features. Given that she was aware she was dreaming she wasn't too concerned by the situation, but this was definitely not typical of the dreams she usually had. _

_"I have a request to make," the inhuman entity actually sounded rather exasperated. She raised an eyebrow. She'd never heard its voice take on a tone like that. _

_"What sort of request?" she asked._

_"I simply cannot stand the annoying little twerp anymore. I realize after characters die I end up having to put up with them in my dimension, but I've had enough of his antics. I need a break, and he needs a tune up," the Truth actually sounded rather annoyed. She stared at it blankly._

_"…Huh?" _

_"On top of which, you clearly need your head rethreaded before you do something stupid to yourself. So I've decided to kill two birds with one stone, figuratively speaking. I'm giving him to your care to manage and look after until I deem the two of you have learned your respective lessons. In exchange for having to put up with his abrasiveness I will give you complete control over him. He will be subjugated to you. This will not only keep him out of trouble but hopefully it will be a much needed humbling experience for him. And for your safety, any damage inflicted upon your body will be equally inflicted upon his body; which also means if you die, he will die too. So do try to stay alive. I don't want him to come back here any sooner than he has to," the white humanoid's tone was rather dry. Amara blinked repeatedly. She'd had weird dreams before but this was beyond strange…_

_"Umm…who exactly are you talking about?" she asked uncertainly. The Truth snorted._

_"You would know him as the fourth homunculus. And I recommend giving a subjugation command as soon as you wake up, or else you may sustain serious damage to your body. He's never been humanity's biggest fan," the Truth sounded amused. _

_"Wait a minute…you mean Envy right?" why on earth was she dreaming this? Was it because of the elevator music followed by seeing Envy's picture before she fell asleep? Or maybe not taking sleeping pills for a change had messed around with her subconscious… _

_"Oh, and one more thing. Because I don't want you getting rid of him before I choose to let you, you cannot command him to do anything that will result in his injury or death," the Truth added, ignoring her question. Then it grinned. "Good luck Amara. Try to teach him some manners if you can," the coppertop frowned in confusion._

_"I don't understand what you're talking about," her tone was a little exasperated. Truth's laughter echoed around her before the scene began to dissolve and blackness swarmed her. Suddenly she found it was rather difficult to breath. She really needed some air. What was this ridiculously heavy weight that was suddenly crushing her? _

* * *

Her eyes snapped open and her now conscious brain immediately processed two things. She was indeed awake. But the weight hadn't disappeared and she still couldn't breathe. In fact, there was a hand pressed over her mouth and from the city lights shining faintly from the window she could see the outline of the figure on top of her. Realization crashed over her. There was an intruder in the house and whoever it was, they were attacking her. One thing she'd never been able to stand was the feeling of someone being in physical control of her. Being pushed around, or pinned down, or held against her will in some form or another was an instantaneous trigger for her redheaded temper. This situation was no exception.

She exploded into action; biting savagely at the hand over her mouth and reaching up to claw at the arm attached to the hand while she thrashed in an attempt to get out from under them. Whoever it was, they were _insanely_ heavy. The reason she couldn't breathe wasn't so much the hand over her mouth as it was the physical weight crushing her chest. She heard an angry hiss and for a second they withdrew the hand from her mouth, probably intending to strike her with it.

"Get off of me!" She gasped, trying without much luck to shove the person away. Then suddenly they were gone. She blinked in surprise, drawing in a much needed breath with the weight removed from her lungs. The figure was standing beside the bed now. How on earth had they moved that quickly? She heard an enraged growl.

"You_ filthy_ human scum! You dare to give me orders?!" the voice was alarmingly familiar and very angry. The figure lunged towards her.

"Stay away from me!" she shrieked, scrambling off the other side of the bed and backing away. She needed to find a weapon. Or something… It was dark in the room, although she could make out the outlines of everything from the light from the window. Her laptop must have gone into sleep mode at some point. She had to get help. There was no way she could fight off an unknown attacker in the dark. Especially given they appeared to be a good deal stronger and heavier than her.

But the figure made no move to pursue her. They remained standing on the other side of the bed. Slowly her mind processed what she could see of his outline. Good lord. Was she still dreaming? It was familiar in a terrifying way. Now that she paused to actually look at the figure she recognized the lithe build and palm tree hair. It didn't matter that she couldn't see his face. Between his voice a minute ago and his outline, there was only one person this could be. Except that it was _impossible!_

_You would know him as the fourth homunculus. And I recommend giving a subjugation command as soon as you wake up, or else you may sustain serious damage to your body. He's never been humanity's biggest fan_

But that had been a dream! _Just a dream_! What on earth was happening? Had she dropped so low that she was now experiencing a psychotic depression? That didn't make any sense though. She wouldn't hallucinate something like this…

"Who are you?" he hissed, "How the fuck are you controlling me?!" his voice was outraged. She stared at him for a moment. Ok. Hallucination or not, she was alone in the dark with a human hating, pissed off homunculus. Something clearly needed to be done. She turned and darted across the room to the door, slamming her hand into the light switch in a rushed attempt to turn it on. The warm glow of the lamp by her bed filled the room, revealing that the figure was indeed the cross-dressing, androgynous, palm tree she had suspected him to be. He raised a hand to shield his eyes, blinking and squinting at the light which was now blinding both of them. Then he turned and met her gaze. For a moment they just stared at each other. Her heart was pounding so heart she half wondered if he could hear it from across the room. And then she panicked.

She dashed out of the room and raced down the hallway. She wasn't even sure what her goal was except that she needed to get away from Envy before he killed her. She didn't think she could outrun him, but maybe if she got a weapon or something she could defend herself somehow. His angry growl and footfalls behind her told her he was in hot pursuit. She let out a shriek and darted into the kitchen, snatching up a large knife from the holder on the counter. A hand clamped down on her shoulder.

"_Don't touch me!" _ She yelled, whirling to face him, knife in hand. He jerked back as if she had burned him. His expression was an interesting mixture of surprised, angry and confused. She could feel herself quivering with adrenalin as she held the knife in front of her with both hands defensively. Her brain slowly processed how ridiculous this was. What the hell could she do to him with a knife? Even if she managed to stab him he'd just heal himself... _Shit!_ He appeared to recover slightly and tried to lunge at her again but froze centimeters away, apparently unable to lay a finger on her.

"What the hell?!" He growled.

"If you kill me you'll die!" She blurted abruptly. He blinked in surprise, pulling back slightly with a skeptical expression.

"What are you talking about?" he demanded.

"Truth told me. If you hurt me it'll hurt you too. And if I die you die," she explained in a rush. His expression grew blank.

"…Truth told you?" he blinked, "You mean that little white bastard is to blame?!" his voice rose to a yell.

"Shut up!" she hissed, "You're going to wake up everyone in the building!" his jaw immediately snapped shut. She blinked in surprise. He'd actually listened to her….but his purple eyes with their slit pupils were filled with a murderous expression. She shuddered. Ok. Obviously he wasn't obeying her of his own free will. So…did this mean he had to do everything she said? In that case, how was he this close to her? She'd told him to stay away from her….maybe the commands only lasted for a short period of time. Perhaps if she specified the amount of time they needed to last they'd work longer?

"Back up," she ordered him shakily. His expression was seriously scaring her. She definitely didn't want him standing this close to her. He abruptly began to walk backwards away from her, except he didn't stop. He kept backing down the hall. It appeared he was going to walk right into the wall.

"Ok stop!" she blurted. He froze. From his expression it appeared he wanted to explode. She was amazed he hadn't said anything. Oh…wait…he probably couldn't say anything since she'd told him to shut up. "Ok umm…" She was grasping at straws. What was she supposed to do in this situation? She drew in a deep breath, trying to order her thoughts. First things first…

"Go sit on the couch and don't get up until I tell you to," she said, her voice wavering a little. She really wasn't comfortable giving orders to this psychopath… Without a word he walked back down the hall and crossed the room to the loveseat, sitting down and staring at her. She leaned on the kitchen counter for support as she stared back. Now what? Well, his silence was almost worse than him yelling at this point. "You can talk now, but don't yell," she warned him.

"You little bitch," He hissed, "When I get my hands on you I'm going to tear you limb from limb, nice and slowly so I can enjoy listening to you scream. Just you wait, I'll—"

"_Shut up!_" She cut him off fiercely. She felt a shudder run through her again at the tone of his voice, while her stomach twisted in a mixture of fear and disgust. His jaw snapped shut again and his expression darkened further. She buried her face in her hands and drew in a deep breath. This couldn't be happening. How was this happening? _Why _was this happening? So Truth had dumped this asshole on her out of the blue, and now she was supposed to teach him manners? What the _hell? _She let out a slow breath, forcing herself to calm down and think. If she had control over what he did that meant he couldn't do anything to her unless she let him…right? And if Truth specifically sent him here for a tune up then she had more than enough reason to not let him walk all over her.

She felt her badly shaken confidence return slightly. If she had control over him, she could handle this. She raised her head and fixed him with a glare. Then she walked around the counter into the living room and came to a halt in front of him, hand on her hip as she stared him down. "Alright listen up," she commanded, managing to make her voice sound more confident than before, "I never asked to have to deal with you, or to have control over you. So thank Truth for that. I have no idea how long I'm stuck with you but as long as you're here don't you dare swear at me or threaten me," she snapped, "Am I understood?" she glared darkly at him until he nodded stiffly. "Good. You can talk again, providing you _do not_ raise your voice," her tone was stern.

A moment passed and he said nothing. He simply stared at her loathingly, clearly itching to tear her to shreds. Thankfully it appeared he remained unable to resist her commands. She sighed and rubbed her forehead. Well obviously he didn't want to talk to her if he couldn't swear, yell, or threaten. She glanced up at the clock on the microwave. 4am. Wonderful. She'd finally managed to fall asleep but she hadn't managed to stay that way. Well…now what? She had a pissed off homunculus trapped on her couch. What on earth was she supposed to do with him?

"This is so stupid," she muttered. Her stomach made an impatient grumble and she realized with a prick of surprise she'd never even bothered to eat supper the night before. She glanced at the angry sin and met his glare with a feeling of resignation. Well. Envy clearly had nothing to contribute to the situation so she might as well find something to eat while he sat on the couch and seethed. Maybe she'd be able to come up with something after that…

She headed back into the kitchen and dug in the cupboards. Her eyes lit upon a freshly opened jar of nutella. Perfect! She snatched it up and glanced at the counter…oh…damn…she'd used up the last of the bread. Oh well, no big deal. She snatched up a spoon from the drawer and headed back into the living room. She sank down to sit against the wall opposite Envy before unscrewing the lid and dipping the spoon in. She pulled it out and licked off the glop of hazelnut chocolate spread with a hum of satisfaction. She could live on this stuff.

"Is that chocolate?" Envy asked abruptly. She blinked in surprise, glancing at him. She gave an uncertain nod. He stared at her with an odd expression. "You're eating chocolate for breakfast?"

"Well yeah. Chocolate is a primary food group," she replied, her tone completely serious. He continued to stare at her. "What?" she asked.

"Give me some," he demanded. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. She'd heard he liked chocolate parfaits in that Bluebird's Illusion video game…but she'd never really thought anything of it.

"Ask nicely," she retorted offhandedly. His glare returned with a vengeance.

"May I please have some chocolate?" the words were clearly forced out and where so at odds with his murderously furious expression that she felt a startled giggle bubble up in her throat. A moment later she lost control and began to laugh. It had a slightly hysterical edge to it, as the stress which had been building up over the last few minutes found a release. After a moment she managed to recompose herself, wiping the tears from her eyes. Envy was still glaring at her.

"What's so funny?" he demanded. She bit her lip to keep from breaking down laughing again. Clearly she was over tired.

"Sorry. I forgot that you had to respond to me," she sounded very slightly sheepish. She rose to her feet and headed back into the kitchen, grabbing another spoon from the drawer. Then she hesitated. She didn't mind him having some, but she still wanted some too, which meant they had to share. And she couldn't see any way of sharing it with him that didn't involve getting in close proximity to the angry, lethal homunculus. She glanced at him and he raised his eyebrows impatiently. Well then… she crossed back into the living room to stand in front of him. "Ok, Ill share it with you on the condition that you won't try to hurt me," she told him firmly. He gave her a flat stare. "Ok?" she demanded. He let out a resigned sigh, but nodded. She swallowed nervously before gathering her courage and sinking down onto the small couch next to him. She grabbed at the arm of the couch for balanced as she realized the cushion was sloping in his direction way more than she'd expected. In fact, she was amazed her poor little loveseat hadn't snapped in two under the weight of the green haired sin. She drew in a breath and handed him his spoon. He stared at it for a moment before taking it. Then he stared at the jar of nutella she held out to him. Finally he gave her an unenthused look.

"Who said I wanted to share with a human?" he demanded waspishly. Amara cocked an eyebrow.

"What? Are you worried I have cooties?" she asked dryly. He gave her a very odd look, but made no response. She sighed. "Look. You're in _my_ house, this is _my_ nutella. I'm being nice enough that I'm willing to share it with you, despite your expressed desire to torture me to death I might add. If you don't feel like sharing then tough shit, you don't get any," she withdrew the jar and dipped her spoon into it again before sucking on it while staring at him flatly. His eyes widened dangerously and she came to the abrupt realization that if she hadn't made him agree not to hurt her, she would be very dead at the moment. As it was he was twitching in an oddly amusing way, clearly wanting to tackle her and finding himself unable to move, from her 'do not hurt me' command and possibly from her 'do not touch me' command as well. A very slow smirk began to play at the corners of her lips. She was starting to realize she could have a hell of a lot of fun with this power if she chose to be a sick twisted person. Luckily for Envy she wasn't inclined to do that. But the thought was still entertaining.

She leaned back against the couch, watching him as she continued to suck on her spoon. The emotions plainly visible on his features and in his gaze spoke volumes about how upset he was. Anger, hatred, confusion, bewilderment… She hummed thoughtfully to herself.

"You must absolutely hate my guts right now," she commented idly. His eyes narrowed. It was a moment before he responded.

"Seeing as I am unable to swear or raise my voice, I really can't give an adequate response to that," he said crisply.

"It's ok. I have a good enough imagination," she blanched slightly. He was still glaring at her, but he was no longer radiating uncontrollable rage. "So, do you still want some nutella? Cause I don't mind sharing. It's not like I'm sick or anything…" she pointed out. His expression twisted in a sneer.

"I can't catch pathetic human illnesses," he spat, "And I'm not sharing with _you,_" his tone was laced with disgust. She felt a prick of anger. What an ungrateful ass.

"Eat a spoonful dammit," she said flatly, thrusting the jar at him again. Immediately he obeyed, although fury began radiating from him once more. As soon as the spoon entered his mouth however he froze, expression going blank. She blinked, startled by his reaction. A moment later his eyes slipped shut and a blissful expression settled across his features. It was such an abrupt change in mood that she could only stare. He sucked the spoon clean, pulling it out to stare at it with a slightly disappointed expression. Then Amara let out a gasp as he abruptly reached out and snatched the jar from her, holding it protectively as he took another spoonful.

"Hey," she protested half-heartedly. She was having a hard time believing what she was seeing. The green haired sin was already sucking on another spoonful. He just looked so…blissed out. Of course, she totally agreed with his sentiments. The stuff was amazing. But she couldn't recall ever seeing him look this happy except when he was ranting about killing people. She realized with a start that he was going through it rather quickly. "Alright give it back," she ordered. He shot her a horrified, outraged look, but was forced to obey.

"I thought you said you were willing to share!" he sounded rather annoyed.

"Yeah, _share_, not have you eat the whole thing!" she retorted, "I can get you your own jar of the stuff in the morning when the stores open if you want it that badly," his eyes widened.

"Are you serious? They sell this in stores?" he demanded. She blinked at him.

"Uh…yeah…"

"Let me go!" he ordered, "I'll go get some myself!" her eyes widened.

"Hell no!" she replied vehemently, "You are not going _anywhere_ without me. You got that? No way am I unleashing you on my poor, unsuspecting world," she shuddered slightly at the thought of the trouble he would cause. And then a thought occurred to her. Would other people be able to see him? For that matter, was he even real? Maybe she'd just completely lost her mind. Rachel had always said she would turn into a crazy hermit if she kept isolating herself the way she normally did. Maybe she'd been right after all. The coppertop shook her head. Well either way, it appeared she was stuck with this guy. And she realized with a terrible sinking feeling that despite this earth shattering occurrence, she still had an exam to study for a week from now…

A hand waved in front of her face, jarring her from her thoughts.

"Helllooooo in there," Envy's tone was slightly mocking. When he saw he had her attention he continued, "Why don't you just let me go and explore this 'poor unsuspecting world' of yours, hmm? Then I'll be out of your hair and that will be that," his tone was persuasive. She shook her head.

"No way. Not happening," she replied firmly. He stared at her for a moment. Then she saw him blink in surprise and glance over at her microwave clock. Then he glanced at his hands. And then he glanced at her. Her eyes widened as she realized too late that something had clearly changed. He lunged at her, easily pinning her against the arm of the couch with a hand over her mouth. A mixture of angry panic shot through her and she instantaneously lashed out, trying to thrash and peel his hand off her face. He grinned at her clearly useless attempts, easily managing to grab hold of both her wrists with his free hand. He shifted so he was practically on top of her again, his weight effectively pinning her legs down.

Despite all that, she was very slightly relieved to note he wasn't hurting her. In fact he wasn't even crushing her. Obviously all of her commands hadn't dissolved at once. But why the hell had the 'don't touch me' command worn off? Maybe she really did need to state a specific amount of time... She felt a horrible sinking feeling as she realized she hadn't done that for the 'don't hurt me' command either. How much time did she have left before she was completely at his non-existent mercy? She had to get his hand off her mouth to give him a more permanent order. But she was thoroughly stuck at the moment. Dammit to hell she hated feeling trapped like this. She glared up at him fearfully and she felt him chuckle.

"Turnaround is fair play. How does it feel to be helpless?" he smirked twistedly, "Maybe what you said about me killing you is true. But I'm more than capable of making your life a living hell until you let me go," he pointed out darkly, "So what'll it be, hmm?" after pausing a moment to let the words sink in he slowly removed his hand, apparently prepared to slap it back over her mouth if she tried to shout out any more commands. Despite the desperate nature of her situation, she felt a prick of amusement.

"Sorry buddy. My life's already a living hell. But you're more than welcome to try and make it worse if that's what floats your boat," she replied dryly. His eyes widened slightly in disbelief at the unconcerned response, "Oh, and I forbid you to hurt me, _ever_," she stressed the word, "Just in case that command decides to wear off too," she glared suspiciously at him. He stared down at her, seeming taken off guard and put out at the same time. Finally he seemed to come up with a response, his expression annoyed.

"Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea what I'm capable of?" he demanded incredulously. She raised an eyebrow.

"Envy the Jealous, 4th homunculus created from the creature that calls himself 'Father'; Instigator, mass murderer and psychopath. Yes, I'm well aware of who you are. I even know why you're so unbelievably heavy. Speaking of which I forbid you from shape shifting into your true form without my permission," she added swiftly. Heaven only new the damage he would cause in that monstrous form. Then she hesitated, "Wait…can you still shape shift in this dimension?" he stared down at her with wide eyes, clearly at a loss as to how she could possibly know all of that about him. Then he frowned curiously. A moment later Amara let out a startled yelp as red electricity crackled over his body and she found herself staring up at…herself… or rather, an identical copy of herself. Apparently he'd decided to test his powers out.

"Good lord, that's just creepy. Please change back," her voice quavered slightly. It was a little disturbing to be suddenly held prisoner by herself. Especially with that twisted expression of amusement on her face. She felt a prick of surprise when he failed to obey. She heard him chuckle with her voice and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Frick. He made her sound… scary. That was almost funny in a twisted way.

"I guess saying 'please' turns it into a request instead of a command," he speculated dryly. She shivered. He really needed to stop using her form.

"Change back," she ordered sharply. He scowled at her, but the crackle of energy ran through him once more and he returned to his original form.

"Fine then ginger brain, what exactly do you plan on doing with me if you force me to stick around?" he demanded irritably. She stared at him.

"Ginger brain?" she demanded incredulously, "Fine then, _palm tree_. I don't have a fricking clue what I'm going to do with you. Now would you please get off me?" His eyes practically bugged out of his head.

"_What _did you call me?" he voice crackled slightly. She frowned. Having to give him direct orders was turning into a pain.

"Well if you're going to make fun of my hair then I'm going to return the favor. Now _get off!" _she snapped. Immediately he released her, returning to his normal seated position on the couch. She practically leapt away from him, darting across the room to put some much needed space between her and the homicidal maniac.

She drew in a breath and paused to organize her thoughts. Part of her wanted to go and barricade herself in her bedroom and go back to sleep and pray this was all just a very bizarre dream. But she was scared to leave him alone in case her commands suddenly wore off and he ambushed her out of the blue. She glanced back at him and blinked in surprised to see him contentedly dipping his spoon into the jar of nutella which she had dropped when he'd grabbed her, and sucking the chocolate off slowly. Well then…that certainly kept him quiet. She'd have to stock up on the stuff.

She glanced around the room, feeling a little lost. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn't just put her life on hold because a homunculus had taken over her apartment. She still had that exam to study for and on top of which… Her train of thought was shattered by the blare of the telephone which made both her and Envy jump. She stared across the room at the phone on the wall for two more rings before her brain finally kicked into gear and she darted across the room to answer it.

"Hello?" she answered it a little breathlessly.

"Amara! Are you ok? You never called me last night," Rachel's voice was a little miffed. The coppertop blinked in surprise.

"Shit! I'm sorry Ray. I completely forgot. I actually fell asleep, believe it or not," a hint of sheepishness crept into her tone.

"Oh damn, seriously?! Did I wake you up?! You're usually up by now so I figured…"

"No, no it's fine. Something woke me up a few minutes ago anyway," she quickly reassured her. She heard her friend sigh.

"Alright. I want to see you today. Either I'm coming there or you're coming here," her voice left no room for argument. Amara's eyes widened in panic.

"Uuuhhh…Ummm…I can't actually hang out today," her voice grew slightly higher pitched.

"Why not?" Her friend's voice was skeptical.

"Um. Well, believe it or not my uh…old friend…from…um….high school…he showed up yesterday and he's going to be staying with me for a while," she stammered awkwardly. There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment.

"You're letting him stay with you? What exactly is your relationship with this guy?" Rachel sounded puzzled, "You never told me you had friends with benefits," Amara's eyes widened in shock and the phone slipped out of her fingers. It clattered across the floor and she scrambled to scoop it up again

"Hey are you alright?! What happened?" Rachel demanded.

"Sorry! I dropped the phone," Amara explained exasperatedly, "And no, he is _not_ a friend with benefits! He's just a friend!" Damn. That was just awkward. She glanced at the sin on her couch to see him staring at her with a _very_ odd expression, spoon frozen partway between his mouth and the jar while he tried to figure out what the hell that statement meant.

"Huh. So when do I get to meet this guy?" Rachel demanded. Amara winced. She and Rachel had only known each other for as long as Amara had been living by herself. They weren't exactly BFFs, but Rachel had a bit of a nosy personality and had taken the idea into her head that Amara needed looking after. The girl rarely took 'no' for an answer.

"Uh," she rapidly tried to come up with some sort of excuse to blow her friend off, "Maybe in a few days. Um, En…ver," she stumbled over the name slightly, "Enver is pretty jetlagged right now,"

"Jetlagged? I thought he was your friend from high school…" Rachel sounded a little suspicious.

"He is! He's just been, uh, living overseas since he graduated," Amara explained quickly. There was a brief silence.

"…Right. Well…ok then. I guess I'll let you get back to him then. I'll call again tomorrow to see how things are going…You better not be making this guy up so you can be alone…" Her friend warned.

"Oh no, I'm definitely not making him up," She reassured her. If only she actually was…

"Alright then…I'll talk to you tomorrow," Rachel replied reluctantly.

"Ok! Bye!" Amara quickly hung up. She stared at the phone in her hand for a minute before glancing back at the green haired sin. Envy raised an eyebrow.

"Friend with benefits?" he sounded extremely skeptical, "What kind of benefits?" Amara blinked before chuckling nervously.

"If you don't know then I'm not telling you. Either way you sure as hell _aren't_ that," she shuddered slightly. No. Just…no. Then she glanced at him thoughtfully. That shape shifting ability could have maaaany different uses… She face-palmed and shook her head. _No_. Now was _not_ the time to jump on that train of thought.

She stuck the phone back on its charging base and raked a hand through her hair in exasperation.

"I am so screwed," she muttered. She glanced at Envy again. "Why the hell did you have to show up now of all times? If you'd waited a week my exam would be over and Rachel would be on vacation on the other side of the country," she griped tiredly. Envy gave her an irritated look.

"You think I _want_ to be here?" he demanded. She sighed in resignation.

"No. But I do think you'll be more than happy to screw everything up while you're here," she retorted. Envy's expression grew thoughtful. Amara glanced at the clock again. 4:30am. Well… Obviously she wouldn't be getting any more sleep; which meant she was in serious need of some coffee.

"Hey palm tree," she asked, turning to head into the kitchen. His expression instantly morphed into a glare.

"What?" he snapped.

"Do you like coffee?" Her question seemed to take him off guard. He stared at her with a puzzled expression for a moment. "Well?" she demanded. Finally he gave a slow nod. She felt mildly surprised. Coffee and Nutella. Well…at least his preferred diet seemed to match up with hers. Although…he probably didn't really _need_ to eat anyway, being a homunculus and all. She reached into the cupboard and pulled out two mugs.

"I want the green one!" he demanded sharply. She let out a sigh and wilted slightly. The sun hadn't even risen and she already looking forward to crawling into bed that night and hiding from her life. Obviously this was going to be a very long day…

* * *

**Poor Amara *chuckle* she's in for an interesting week.  
**

**Please bear with my rather unhappy/serious start to the chapter. Seeing as I've never actually written a crack fic before, I wasn't even sure if I should call this that at first. But it gets more outrageous as you get farther into the story x'D **

**I'll upload the next chapter later this week...probably...depends on how much self discipline I have xP**

**And like every other author on this site, I _really_ like hearing feedback from you guys ;) hint hint...nudge nudge...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_"Good, you survived your first day. That bodes well for your future together," the inhuman voice echoed around her as she opened to her eyes to the empty white space once more. _

_ "Yeah…" Amara was less than thrilled. She'd managed to get a miniscule amount of studying done, but only after she'd ordered the sin to shut up and not move for an hour. Actually, she'd worded it as a permanent command but it had worn off… which had been rather frustrating… And then the bastard had had the nerve to actually guilt her into not reapplying the command. It was ridiculously unfair how well he could play up his misery to pull at her heart strings. It had been so unexpected and how on earth was she supposed to say no to such a pitiful face? How did such an evil creature manage to look so adorably miserable? Manipulative asshole. She knew he was just playing her for a fool. But at least when he was doing that he wasn't being as much of a jerk… _

_ "There was one small detail I neglected to mention earlier," Truth admitted. Amara's eyes narrowed suspiciously. _

_ "What?"_

_ "The commands you give immediately lose their effect once you lose consciousness. You'll have to reapply them when you wake up," it told her matter-of-factly. _

_ "Say __**what**__?!" she shouted in outrage, "How is that fair?! He'll murder me in my sleep!"_

_ "Unlike you, Envy isn't bordering on suicidal. I very much doubt he'll do anything that would risk his second demise," Truth retorted dryly. Amara stared at the humanoid in horror. Ok so he wouldn't kill her. There were still a lot of bad things that could still happen without her dying… Truth chuckled. Amara's eyes narrowed in anger._

_ "You're enjoying this aren't you?" she seethed, "You like making people miserable! I'm starting to think Envy doesn't like you for a good reason you bastard!" she glared blackly at the creature. It grinned and tisked at her infuriatingly._

_ "Now Amara, how does losing your temper set any sort of good example for your charge? Speaking of which, you might want to consider waking up now. He's up to no good again…"_

_ "I hate you!" She hissed. _

_"You sound like you're feeling better. I knew a little distraction was all you needed," It chuckled at her fury and the scene slowly dissolved. _

* * *

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped. She had a distinct memory of falling sleep under the covers, and yet she was currently lying on her side on top of the bedspread. And she couldn't move her arms or her legs. Her ankles and wrists were bound very snugly by strips of black fabric; a little too snugly for that matter. She'd lost feeling in her hands and feet. She glanced at the window and realized with a spark of outrage that the green haired idiot had torn up her curtains in order to find something to tie her up with. Morning light streamed through the uncovered window. How the hell had she slept through all of this?! She _wasn't_ a heavy sleeper! The fact that he'd managed to pull off this entire situation without waking her up was a little disturbing.

Her heart kicked into double time. Where the hell was he? When had he gotten the bright idea to tie her up and run off? How long had he been out on his own? What on earth had he gotten into while she was tied up here unconscious? She felt the anger left over from her dream with Truth bubble up afresh. How _dare_ he tie her up and leave her like this!

"Envy!" she yelled furiously, "Get your ass back here and untie me _right now!_" there was an uncomfortable period of silence following her dramatic order. She ground her teeth in frustration. The orders probably wouldn't work if he couldn't hear her. Well in that case, she'd just have to somehow get from here to the kitchen and figure out how to cut her bonds with her hands tied behind her back… It sounded a little challenging. But she was pissed off enough that she was pretty sure she could manage it.

At that moment she heard a loud crash from down the hall, and then a second later her bedroom door burst open. A blur shot across the room and the next thing she knew something had sliced through the bonds on her wrists and ankles. She gasped in surprise and jerked around to see none other than the jealous sin standing by her bed looking supremely frustrated.

"Dammit all I should have gagged you!" he snapped.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?! Where did you go?!" She demanded furiously. He held up a grocery bag filled with jars of nutella. Amara's eyes widened.

"Did you steal those?" she sounded a little flabbergasted.

"Well duh," he retorted. She paled slightly.

"Please tell me you didn't kill the poor clerk,"

"Well _somebody_ interrupted me before I got the chance," he scowled at her accusingly. Amara rested her face in her hands.

"Did you kill anyone else while you were out and about?" her voice was slightly muffled but held a despairing edge.

"No," he replied sourly. She glanced up at him suspiciously. He rolled his eyes. "Why would I lie about that? Hell, after seeing how much it upsets you I'll make a point of slaughtering some of the idiots next time I get out," he taunted. Her hands clenched into fists and she stared down at the swirling gold bedspread. This had the potential to be very problematic. He couldn't kill her, but there was nothing stopping him from going after other people. She couldn't let that happen. But how was she supposed to prevent it if he got free every time she fell asleep? She couldn't stay awake for ever. But there had to be _something_ she could do…

"Envy," her voice was flat. He hummed questioningly. She fixed him with a serious stare. "I promise not to give you any more orders, if you swear not to go anywhere without me again," it was a bit of a desperate request, but she couldn't think of anything else she could bargain with. He stared at her, his eyes widening slightly. Several moments passed and she half wondered if he was even going to answer her. Then suddenly his lips twisted in a wicked smirk.

"Alright, I swear," he agreed abruptly. She felt a chill run through her. He sounded way too pleased about this. Then before she could blink he grabbed her off the bed and locked her in a choke hold, his arm shifting into a blade to press against her neck. She gasped. What was he _doing_? He gave a low chuckle that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. "In that case, I'll just take you with me to watch while I murder them," his voice was filled with twisted glee.

"Envy let me go!" she demanded, her voice a little panicky.

"Make me," he whispered against her ear, his tone darkly amused. She felt a horrible dropping sensation in her stomach. What had she done? Had making that promise actually stripped away her power over him?! She hadn't intended for that to happen! She couldn't let him do this. The mixture of panic and frustration at being forcefully restrained yet again stripped away her caution. She did the only thing she could think to do. She slammed her neck against the blade he had pressed to it.

She let out a yelp at the fiery pain which bit into her throat, but she heard a pained hiss from behind her and suddenly the arms around her let go. She stumbled forward, a hand coming up to press against the strip of agony now pulsing across her neck. Warm liquid flowed between her fingers and down her neck onto her shirt. She felt a flash of anxiety and hoped she hadn't managed to slice an important artery. Bleeding to death sounded like an unpleasant way to die. She turned to glance back at the sin and saw he was doing the same thing as her. He had a hand pressed to his neck and a pained expression on his face.

"You bitch," he hissed, his voice strained, "Why the hell isn't this healing?!" Amara's eyes widened in realization. Perhaps wounds inflicted on him through her own body weren't affected by his healing powers..? If that was the case, she still had a bit of control over him after all. As unpleasant as it was, she could injure herself to get through to him if it came right down to it. And he wasn't a fan of pain, so it would probably be reasonably effective. Of course, she wasn't the biggest fan of pain either, but she suspected she still possessed a higher pain tolerance than the sin.

"If you try to hurt anyone I'll kill us both," she warned him fiercely. He gave her a horrified look.

"Are you insane?!" he cried.

"Yes. Don't test me," she told him flatly. She even managed to keep a straight face. But that was mainly because she was dead serious. She'd already been tossing around the idea of taking her own life over the last couple weeks. If she suddenly had to go ahead with the idea to keep people from getting hurt on her account, she was pretty sure she could pull it off without too much trouble. He continued to stare at her.

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" he sounded slightly disturbed. She snorted.

"Don't be a hypocrite. You're more screwed up than I am," she retorted. Then she winced. The pain in her neck increased when she spoke. "Let's get these wounds bandaged up before we pass out from blood loss," she suggest, turning and heading towards the hallway. After a moment she heard him follow after her.

* * *

A little while later the two of them stood in the living room, staring each other down. Their necks were dressed and bandaged thanks to the first aid kit Amara kept in the cupboard under the bathroom sink.

"You broke my door," She accused, glaring at the jealous sin. It was true. The wood was splintered and the door hung at a bit of an odd angle. She'd managed to shove it shut, but the latch was broken too. Envy rolled his eyes.

"Well if _someone_ hadn't demanded that I come racing back here, I wouldn't have had to break back in. Blame the locks on the doors or blame yourself. Don't blame me," he retorted. He bent to pull a jar of nutella out of the bag he'd set down on the coffee table. "Get me a spoon," he ordered. She raised her eyebrows incredulously.

"Get your own damn spoon," she retorted.

"Do you _want_ me to tear apart your kitchen?" he asked blandly. She stared at him for a moment before her expression slipped into a glare.

"Asshole," she muttered, turning and heading back into the kitchen to fetch his spoon. She grabbed it and chucked it at him from across the room, rather hoping it would hit him on the head. He easily snatched it out of the air and smirked tauntingly. She rolled her eyes. And then the phone rang. She made an exasperated sound.  
"Damn it all Rachel," Amara snapped, "Now is so not the time!"

"What are you going to do if your friend shows up here?" Envy sounded slightly curious as he settled onto the couch with his jar of nutella. Amara massaged her temples.

"I have no fricking clue. I'd need _you_ to shape shift into a normal looking person and I'd need to cover up our injuries somehow," Envy snorted.

"Sucks to be you," he replied unconcernedly. Amara's eyes narrowed.

"Don't make me hurt you," her tone was soft but dangerous. Envy shot her an incredulous look.

"Are you threatening me?" he demanded. She gave him a serious look as she picked up the still ringing phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Amara! How are things with Enver?" Rachel inquired cheerfully, "What kind of name is that anyway? It's bizarre sounding," Amara blinked.

"It's Turkish…" she replied uncertainly.

"Your friend is Turkish?!"

"Ummm…..yes…"

"…I'm really looking forward to meeting this guy," Rachel's tone was curious. Amara wilted slightly and then shot a glare at Envy.

"Alright, but I don't think you'll like him much. He's a total asshole," she replied evenly, her gaze daring the sin to react to the insult. Envy raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, then why do you hang around with him?" Rachel sounded puzzled.

"It's really complicated. So um… if you want to come over you can, but…could you maybe come late afternoon? I'd like to get some studying done while my brain is still relatively fresh," Amara said.

"Alright, sounds good. I've got somewhere to be this evening though. Is 3 o'clock ok?"

"Yep that's fine. See you then!" Amara replied.

"Bye!"

Amara hung up the phone.

"Why did you invite her over?" Envy sounded confused. Amara glanced at him, her expression resigned.

"If I hadn't she would have just come anyway. And seeing as how you broke my door, I can't exactly lock her out," she pointed out. And then she paused. "Say, how good are you at turning into Turkish people?" she asked abruptly. Envy's eyebrows shot up.

"Excuse me?" he asked in disbelief.

"Well…she kind of thinks you're Turkish…" she explained sheepishly. He stared at her, his expression unreadable.

"…Turkish?" he asked. She nodded. "What the hell does that mean?" he sounded more puzzled than annoyed. Amara blinked. Right… there weren't any Turkish people in the Fullmetal Alchemist world.

"How about I show you a picture?" She suggested. He gave her a skeptical look. She rolled her eyes. "You can bring your nutella with you, just come to the bedroom," she said, turning and heading down the hallway to her room. She heard him let out a heavy sigh.

"Has anyone ever told you how extremely annoying you are?" He inquired, getting up to follow her.

"As a matter of fact, no, they haven't," she retorted, sinking down into the computer chair and waking her laptop from sleep mode.

"Huh. Well I'm telling you now. You're annoying," he said flatly, coming to a stop behind her chair. Amara snorted, opening up her browser and entering in a search for Turkish guys under Google Images. It loaded for a moment, and then a series of images popped up. Amara did a double take. Wait…what? Wow…

"Huh. Well I suppose you could have picked a worse bunch of humans for me to look like," Envy mused. Amara nodded slowly. He wasn't kidding. There were some _extremely_ attractive Turkish guys in these images. Well, if you were into the tall dark and handsome look anyway… Which…she had to admit… she kind of was… She shook her head. This was rather unexpected. She glanced at the green haired sin. He had a speculative look on his face. She frowned.

"If you hurt her I'll hurt you through me," she warned suspiciously. Envy rolled his eyes.

"Aright you little masochist. I'll play along with this," there was an amused glint in his eyes, "And I'll even promise not to hurt her," he sounded suspiciously innocent. Amara's eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed suspiciously.

"What are you up to?" she demanded. He smirked.

"Wouldn't you like to know? But beggars can't be choosers. You need my help," he pointed out smugly. Amara grimaced.

"I have a very bad feeling about this…" she muttered, glancing back at the laptop. Envy snorted. She raked a hand through her messy copper waves exasperatedly. "Alright, you need to leave, because I need to study," she told him firmly, "So take your nutella and scram," Envy raised an eyebrow.

"And what if I don't?" he demanded. Amara stared at him. Well she wasn't about to start injuring herself over something like this.

"Fine then. Stay. See if I care. But you'll be bored," she warned, reaching for her accounting textbook lying on the desk. She reluctantly opened it to the final unit and grimaced down at the text. An unexpected buzzing sound caused her to glance up in surprise. Her cellphone was lying on the desk by her laptop, the screen lit up indicating she had just received a text. Her brain eagerly lighting upon anything aside from what she needed to be studying, she reached for it and unlocked the screen. Her mind went blank as she stared at it in shock. Had hell frozen over?

"What's that?" Envy demanded, leaning over her shoulder to stare at the phone

"My dad just texted me," she sounded as stunned as she felt.

"…I'm going to assume that's some form of communication," Envy sounded slightly exasperated. She nodded slowly.

"Why is this a shocking occurrence?" he asked skeptically.

"He hasn't bothered even trying to talk to me in over a month. He uses mom to keep tabs on how I'm doing," she muttered, frowning down at the cellphone. Envy raised an eyebrow.

"Sounds like a bizarre parental relationship," he commented blandly. Amara sighed.

"He's never been much into the whole parenting thing. That was mom's department. It's not that he doesn't care…I just don't think he knows how to act with me," she muttered.

"So what did he say?" Envy demanded, clearly not overly interested in her family dynamic. She rolled her eyes and glanced down at the message which she'd completely neglected to read in her surprise over the sender of the message.

_Amara. Are you okay?_

The coppertop frowned. Inquiring after her wellbeing wasn't something her father was usually made a habit of unless something was glaringly wrong. She couldn't imagine what had motivated him to do so now.

_I'm alive and breathing. Why?_

She replied curtly. His sudden interest in her wellbeing after receiving the cold shoulder for such an extended period actually pissed her off to some degree. The phone buzzed again.

_Good. What was the name of that anime you mentioned last time I saw you?_

The coppertop stared down at the phone, utterly floored. Had somebody drugged him? Maybe he was drunk. Not that she'd ever seen him touch alcohol. But her brain was floundering uselessly trying to come up with an explanation for is totally out of the blue question. Given how infrequent and awkward their conversations tended to be, TV shows weren't typically a subject that came up often. She thought back to the last time she'd actually seen him. She couldn't remember mentioning anything about anime. But the only anime she'd bothered to watch recently had been the one which included the homunculus standing behind her.

_Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood….Why?_

She stared down at the phone, expression perplexed. Curiosity was eating at her. She couldn't even begin to imagine why he'd bothered to bring this up. After several minutes passed with no response she grew frustrated. Was that all he was going to say? She moved to set the phone down when it buzzed again.

_Thank you. _

She stared at the response for a moment, before making a frustrated sound and tossing the phone onto the desk. Clearly he didn't intend to explain further. And she already knew there was no point in pressing him about it. He'd just turn his phone off to avoid her.

"Well that was enlightening," Envy sounded a little disappointed.

"Tell me about it," she muttered, returning her attention to her textbook. Whatever. If he wanted to keep secrets she'd just ask him about it next time she saw him. He was an abysmal liar, so she'd probably find out eventually. It was probably something stupid, like a co-worker wanting to know if he knew of any good cartoons for their kids to watch. Small talk wasn't really her dad's forte. Still, it was highly unusual for him to go out of his way to ask his daughter for help. She shook her head. No point in worrying about it. She had more important things to focus on anyway.

* * *

An hour later she rested her head against the textbook in defeat.

"I can't do this. I'm so screwed," she muttered. The final unit was on Intangible Assets and Goodwill, and she couldn't force her tired brain to wrap itself around the concepts. It was _so_ boring, and she was _so_ unbelievably tired of this subject. On top of which it was complicated and just staring at the textbook made her want to curl up in a dark hole somewhere and die. She heard Envy come to a stop by her chair. He'd been pacing up and down for the last ten minutes, doing an excellent job of shattering her fragile concentration. "Please, just kill me now," her voice was a muffled moan of despair.

"What are you studying?" The sin sounded a little weirded out.

"The subject from hell," she muttered. Envy raised an eyebrow.

"So…Introduction to Damnation 101?" his tone was laced with sarcasm. She gave him a wilted look.

"Ha. Ha," she retorted flatly, "It's Intermediate Financial Accounting 351,"

"Huh. Sounds boring,"

"Yep, pretty much,"

"So…are you seriously going to keep sitting there and staring at it?" he inquired. She made a sound of frustration and rubbed her eyes.

"If I keep studying I might be able to pull off a passing grade," she grumbled.

"…And maybe you won't. Is it really worth killing yourself over?" he asked dryly. Her eyes widened and she stared at him for a moment before she realized he hadn't meant for her to take the statement literally. She shook her head slightly to clear it.

"Umm…well if I fail it my dad might want me to move back in with him," she pointed out reluctantly. Envy rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he muttered. Then suddenly he reached in and snatched the textbook away from her.

"Hey!" she cried, "What are you doing?"

"I'm bored," he replied matter-of-factly, "Entertain me," her eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" she demanded, voice filled with disbelief.

"You heard me," he smirked. Her expression morphed into a glare.

"Give that back. I don't have time to entertain you, I need to study!" her tone was vehement.

"If you want it, come and get it," Envy held the book up tauntingly. Amara felt a wave of anger.

"Oh no. No you don't. Give it back _right now_!" She snapped, rising to her feet.

"Make me," Envy grinned. That did it.

"You asshole!" She lunged at him but he easily dodged her with a chuckle.

"Oooooh, I think I made it angry," he replied tauntingly, holding the textbook up with one hand. Amara made a grab for it, but suddenly his arm crackled, and then stretched much longer than humanly possible up towards the roof.

"Dammit Envy that is _not_ fair!" she growled in frustration. Envy snickered.

"You're so easy to rile up it's almost boring," he retorted smugly. She stared at his superior expression for a moment. She was teetering on the edge of completely losing it. After the last two days, stress had completely worn down the already fragile control of her temper.

"Envy…" her voice held a dangerous edge.

"Hmm, I wonder what would happen if I did this," His arm shrank back to normal size and he grabbed the textbook with two hands, clearly intending to tear it in half.

Something inside her snapped. She leapt forward and full out tackled him, taking him off guard enough that he actually dropped the textbook and staggered backwards. Any sort of clear thinking had gone out the window. The only thing in control now was the furious desire to tear the idiot palm tree to shreds. She'd never had any formal training in fighting. But that didn't matter. It was plenty simple to hit, slap, scratch, hair yank and head-butt an opponent. For a moment the green haired sin was actually taken aback by her raging onslaught, allowing her to land several satisfying blows and a rather deep scratch across his cheek. But then he recovered. In an instant she was pinned against the wall, both arms pulled up over her head and firmly secured by one his hands.

"My my. You've got quite the little temper on you," his tone was darkly amused. She growled in frustration as she saw a crackle of red light across his cheek, wiping away the damage she'd managed to do. She lunged forward against his grip but he jerked back slightly, meaning her teeth snapped shut on air instead of the end of his nose. His eyebrows shot up. "Hey now, take it easy. I don't want to have to hurt you,"

"Yeah, only because you're a total wimp," She spat. His eyes narrowed. Then abruptly he kneed her in the gut. The wash of pain as the air was brutally forced from her lungs caused her to collapse forward with a gasp. But she wasn't the only one collapsing forward. Her forehead smashed resoundingly against the green hair sin's face as he too was overcome by the effects of being kneed in the gut. He gasped out an oath as both of them collapsed to the floor. Amara struggled to breathe for a second or two. Then as she finally managed to pull some air into her lungs she began to laugh painfully.

"You actually fell for it!" She cackled, "You're an idiot!" Envy hissed in anger, cradling his bleeding nose with one hand and his throbbing stomach with the other. A moment later red light crackled across his nose, healing the damage there. But there was no such relief for his lungs and stomach. She grinned and stuck her tongue out at him. "How do you like a taste of your own medicine?"

"You little bitch," he growled. She smirked.

"Come on then. Hit me. I dare you," she taunted. For a minute she wondered if he was actually going to fall for it again. His expression darkened alarmingly. On second thought, maybe provoking him too much wasn't a good idea. He might actually kill her by accident…

"Don't push your luck," his tone was low, and rather frightening. She gulped. Ok…time to back off a bit. She drew in a slow painful breath, wincing as her insides throbbed. Her gaze landed on the textbook laying a few feet away. She felt a prick of relief to see it was undamaged. With a pained sigh she lay back on the carpet, hands resting on bruised torso.

"Damn. Why do you have to have such bony knees?" she muttered. Envy snorted.

"That's what you get for provoking me you little twit," he retorted.

"Hey. You started it," she pointed out. He rolled his eyes. "So have I entertained you enough?" She demanded.

"Oh no you don't. You're not getting off that easily," the rather irritated homunculus pushed himself to his feet. Amara blinked, staring up at his expression with a prick of unease. Maybe she'd pushed it a little too far…

The next then she knew he'd grabbed her arm and yanked her roughly to her feet.

"Oww! What are you doing?" she demanded nervously. His face was uncomfortably close to hers and she wasn't a fan of the way he was leering at her.

"You're going to make up for what you did," he told her darkly. Her eyes widened.

"H-how exactly…?" her voice wavered slightly. He smirked. And then he set off for the hallway, dragging her after him. "Hey! Stop! Where are we going?!" she cried, digging her heels in to no avail. There was no way in hell she could come close to matching his strength. He gave her no answer, continuing out to the porch and yanking the damaged door open. "_Envy!_" she yelped.

"Shut up," he growled. Her jaw snapped shut and a thrill of fear shot through her at his tone. Man, she hadn't thought this through. Why again had she chosen to piss him off? He continued to drag her out into the hallway and down to the elevator. He pressed the button and the waited. She eyed him nervously. What on earth could he possibly be up to? Realistically there was only so much she could do right now. She hadn't been able to grab a weapon or even anything sharp, so injuring herself to control him would likely prove challenging.

The doors slid open with a ding and he yanked her roughly into the elevator. She staggered to a stop beside him as he pushed the main floor button.

"Seriously, what are you doing?" she whispered, eyes wide. He glanced at her and smirked.

"Awe, what happened to that fiery attitude you had a minute ago? You look scared," he retorted mockingly. She continued to stare at him, a tense expression on her face. She might have a bit of a short temper, but she wasn't an idiot. This situation could end very badly if she didn't come up with something. What was he planning to do? Was he really going to go out and start slaughtering people left and right with her dragging along after him?

The doors slip open and he dragged her out across the foyer to the doors.

"Wait, Envy, it's a blizzard out there. I don't have a jacket!" She protested. It was indeed snowing quite heavily, and judging by the way it was moving in a horizontal direction, the wind was clearly very strong. On top of which, she was only wearing her long nightshirt that she'd slept in, and her feet were bare. He ignored her, shoving the doors open and pulling her out into the storm.

The wall of cold hit her so intensely it left her gasping for air. She could feel the inside of her nose instantly freeze and her lungs vehemently protested the icy oxygen she was gulping in. The exposed skin on her legs, arms and face burned fiercely from the bitter wind, and her feet throbbed painfully from coming into contact with the freshly fallen snow covering the stairs and sidewalk. She was instantly chilled to the bone, shivers beginning to wrack her body. A moment later her teeth began to chatter as well as she staggered along after the green haired sin.

"E-nvvy, you c-can't do this. I'm g-going to f-f-freeze to death!" She yelped, scrunching her eyes shut against the onslaught of snowflakes which pelted her face. She was already loosing feeling in her feet, hands and ears. She heard an annoyed growl.

"You humans are so pathetically weak," he grumbled. She saw a crackle of red light and a moment later a long jacket and boots were shoved into her arms. She staggered and nearly dropped them, shivering so violently that it was difficult to keep hold of them. Swiftly she dropped the boots to the ground and slipped her numb feet into them awkwardly. She yanked the jacket on and fumbled with the zipper until the unfeeling stubs which were her fingers managed to zip it shut. Thank heavens it was a heavy winter jacket that fell nearly to her ankles and the boots he'd given her came up to her knees. How he knew her size she didn't have a clue. On second thought, maybe she didn't want to know…

As relief washed over her she glanced at Envy and did a dramatic double take. For a minute she thought he'd run off while she was dressing and some other guy had shown up. The older teen standing before her was tall, with darkly tanned skin and wavy black hair swept back from his face. His eyes were large and deep brown, rimmed with long dark lashes. He possessed a strong jawline, ruggedly handsome features and a dusting of five o-clock shadow. It was difficult to tell under the black leather jacket, but he appeared rather muscular as well. It took a moment for her to realize she was gaping at him. Her jaw snapped shut and her cheeks, already flushed from the cold, grew a shade darker. He probably hadn't intended it, but he'd managed to shape shift into a form which epitomized her 'type'. It felt unbelievably weird and a little disturbing but she had to admit, in this body he was downright sexy.

He raised an eyebrow.

"How do I look?" he inquired dryly.

"…I probably shouldn't answer that," her voice came out a little hoarse and she coughed slightly. He snorted.

"Come on. If I drag you it'll look suspicious," he said, turning and walking away down the sidewalk. She blinked, and then hastened to catch up with him. She didn't have a clue what he could be up to. If his intent was slaughtering people then she wasn't entirely sure why he'd bothered to change into Enver, the Turkish guy. Well… regardless, she was just relieved to have boots and a jacket. She was still chilled, but at least now she wasn't in danger of hypothermia.

It was snowing heavily enough that it was difficult to see where exactly they were going, but Envy seemed to have a specific destination in mind. The wind whistled between the buildings ominously and stirred up swirling clouds of powdered snow around them. A moment later they rounded a corner and Envy came to a stop by the door of a shop. Amara blinked in surprise, glancing up at the sign. This was her favorite ice-cream parlor. Why had he brought her here?

"Inside," he ordered, pulling the door open and waiting for her to enter. She obeyed without complaint, hurrying through the door into the welcoming wave of heat inside the building. The elderly woman behind the counter glanced up at them and grinned cheerfully.

"Amara! It's wonderful to see you. How have you been?" she inquired, her voice friendly. Astoundingly there were several other customers seated at the various tables around the shop eating ice-cream. Only Canadians would be absurd enough to go out for ice-cream in a blizzard…

"Oh. Hello Grace. I've been good. Yourself?" She replied, hastening to put her scattered thoughts in order.

"Oh, same as always," the lady replied with a smile. Amara glanced uncertainly at Envy. He smirked before strolling up to the counter.

"I'd like a chocolate parfait," he told the clerk before glancing at Amara with a raised eyebrow. She stared at him, utterly floored. He wanted her to make up for attacking him…by buying him ice-cream? Seriously? She'd been bracing for an all-out slaughter fest, and this was really all he'd been planning?

"Uh…um…I'll have the same," she turned her gaze on the elderly woman, doing her best to keep a normal expression on her face.

"Oh, so he's with you then?" the lady inquired, a sly expression crossing her wrinkled face, "So is this your new boyfriend?" Amara's eyes widened in shock as her mind reeled with the implications. She opened her mouth to assure her that he most definitely was just a friend, when an arm slid around her shoulders and pulled her against his side.

"That would be me," he replied smoothly, an amused smirk playing across his lips. Amara froze, thoughts scattering off in wild disarray at the unexpected close proximity to the handsome teen. She found herself instantaneously battling two polar opposite desires. The first was to up and clock him across the face as hard as she possibly could for intentionally embarrassing the hell out of her. Seriously, the bastard had already heard her tell someone he was very much _just_ a "friend". But unfortunately her body had other opinions on the matter, and it was instructing her to relax into his side, slip an arm around his neck and lean up and kiss him. Actually…she was rather curious what his reaction would be to that. Since it probably was the last think he'd expect her to do. He didn't understand just how much his current form had an effect on her... Still, as much as her body found the idea appealing, her mind was a little too pissed off to give in to that particular impulse at the moment.

"Oh, you're a lucky girl to find such a handsome guy. Must've had to search high and low to find him," the lady grinned, her tone gently teasing. Amara bit her tongue to keep from saying the first thing that came to mind: _No, the asshole dropped in uninvited and now I can't get away from him._ Instead she simply chuckled softly, deciding it was probably better to say nothing at all.

"Would you like me to put that on your tab dear?" the elderly clerk inquired.

"Yes, that would be wonderful Grace. Thank you," she replied with a smile. Then she smoothly slipped out from under the arm around her shoulders and made for one of the tables across the shop.

She was careful to pick a seat which faced out the window so that she wouldn't have to worry about keeping her expressions controlled. As Envy sank into the seat across from her she glared blackly at him. This was so unfair. Every impulse commanded her to throw away her reservations and stare at him shamelessly. Those eyes… she was _not_ going to slip into a daydream staring into them! Dammit all! He flashed a grin and she felt her stomach swoop.

"Something wrong?" his tone was infuriatingly innocent.

"You asshole," she hissed, "If you weren't immortal I swear I would kill you here and now!"

"Amara. You're blushing," he pointed out with a smirk. She made an infuriated sound.

"I hate you! Change back _right now!" _ her voice was low, but her tone did wonders to express the depths of her anger. Envy raised his eyebrows.

"Right here? In front of all these people? You know, something tells me that probably wouldn't go over well," he pointed out dryly, "Besides. This is way too much fun," the smug tone of his voice made her itch to slap him. He leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. His expression was a typical, superiorly amused one, but in this form it had the unfortunate effect of triggering a multitude of butterflies in her stomach. She leaned back in her chair to put distance between them. "You know, if you keep staring at me like that you're elderly friend is going to think we're having a lover's spat," he commented innocently. Her eyes widened and for a moment she almost lost control and smacked the smug expression right off his damn attractive face. And then a thought occurred to her which caused the anger to drain away. A cool amusement trickled in to take its place.

"Alright jerk, two can play this game," she replied, before her expression changed completely and she leaned forward, resting her arms on the table as she gazed at him. In a matter of seconds she felt herself change from a barely controlled homicidal maniac, to a love struck teenage girl, her expression softening and gaze growing dreamy as she stared into his eyes. It really wasn't that difficult an act to pull off when this was how her body wanted to respond anyway… His eyes widened slightly and he raised his eyebrows, clearly taken aback by the abrupt shift in mood. She felt a prick of satisfaction. This was what'd she'd anticipated. It was time to turn the tables.

But then a moment later his smirk returned in full, heart fluttering force.

"Just how far are you willing to take that act, hmm?" he leaned in much closer, his gaze filled with dark amusement. Amara wanted to come up with a quick response, but she was suddenly unable to breathe with the distance between their faces suddenly so dramatically shortened. Even if she could breathe, the close proximity had driven every rational thought out of her mind. She'd assumed since she was just a "pathetic human" he would have quickly backed off in disgust. She really _hadn't_ expected him to call her bluff... Although, as far as her body was concerned, it wasn't a bluff.

"Here you are my dears!" A cheerful voice shattered her absolute focus on the dark brown eyes in front of her. She jerked back slightly as two clear bowls of desert were set in front of them. They were really more like shallow glasses actually… Each had a spoon sticking out of it. Envy's attention was instantaneously diverted to the chocolate creation before him. Amara quickly recovered.

"Thank you Grace," she turned to smile after the lady who was already bustling away to another customer. Relief crashed over her in a wave. If the elderly lady hadn't shown up when she had, she wasn't entirely sure what would have happened. All she knew was there was a good chance she would have lost control and things would likely have ended badly…

She glanced down at the parfait in front of her. She'd never actually had one before… she glanced at the homunculus across from her to see his eyes were shut in a contented, blissed out expression as he savored a mouthful of the frozen desert.

"I can't believe you dragged me out here to buy you a parfait," she told him incredulously. He cracked an eye open to stare at her a moment before swallowing the mouthful. Then he shrugged.

"What else are you good for?" he raised an eyebrow, actually sounding rather curious. Her jaw dropped as an idea she really _didn't_ want to picture leapt into her mind.

"You…didn't just ask me that," her tone was a little disturbed. He really _really_ needed to _not_ stay in that form. Because she couldn't for the life of her get her brain out of the gutter. He raised an eyebrow.

"You're blushing again," he pointed out blandly, before eating another spoonful. Her eyes narrowed and she glared daggers at him. Rather than dignifying that with a response, she turned her attention on the desert in front of her. She grabbed the spoon and took a bite. Her eyes widened as the flavor spread throughout her mouth.

"What?" Envy demanded, giving her a puzzled look. She swallowed and then quickly took another bite, just to be sure. Yep. Wow. She swallowed that one to. Finally she fixed him with a flat look.

"I utterly despise you. But you have excellent taste in food," she told him frankly. He blinked, staring at her blankly for a moment. And then he slowly began to laugh. Not the usual cruel, mocking laughter; just normal, genuinely amused laughter. She stared at him, a little stunned. She couldn't recall ever hearing him laugh like that. Eventually he seemed to recover, although he was still grinning slightly.

"You are quite possibly the most bizarre human I have ever met," he informed her dryly. She raised an eyebrow.

"Uh…Thank you… I think…" she muttered. She watched him contently go back to eating his desert, feeling a little bewildered. What on earth was she going to do with this guy? His mood swings were starting to give her whiplash. She let out a sigh. Well…clearly she had another weapon to add to her arsenal. There were many different sorts of chocolate she suspected he would like. Maybe controlling him with bribes would work better than threats…

* * *

**-Author's Note-**

**And so concludes the second installment of the story. For whatever reason this chapter bugs me... Probably because writing Envy OOC rubs me the wrong way x'D which begs the question as to why I wrote this story in the first place... but in any case, next chapter is where things actually get interesting (in my opinion...I'm just the author...). I realize this has been rather tame as crack fictions go. However I suspect the next three chapters will make up for that xP**

**And just a note about the whole Turkish thing. After picking out the name Enver, I discovered it is in fact of Turkish origin. And...things kind've went from there xD so please don't be offended if you happen to be Turkish lol. Your nationality was selected by a weird form of random chance.**

**And to the fangirls wondering why on earth Amara doesn't properly appreciate the attractiveness of Envy's normal form...well... not everyone finds him attractive lol. I think those of us that do are a little strange actually...but strange is ok xD **

**I'll likely get the 3rd chapter up early next week sometime. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Amara drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, calming her anxious mind. She was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, finishing up the process of hair styling and makeup. Rachel would definitely have comments to make if she showed up to find Amara in PJs, with bedhead and looking half dead from lack of sleep. The nature of the comments would likely depend on the mood of the blond girl, but Amara wasn't inclined to risk provoking her either way. She leaned in and added the final touches of eyeliner before brushing her hair back from her face. The coppery waves had been relatively tamed, and now spilled past her shoulders in a less frizzy manor. The navy blue turtleneck she'd managed to dig out of the back of her dresser happened to bring out the blue in her eyes. It also had the handy effect of covering the bandage around her neck…she wasn't eager to try explaining the injury to her nosy friend. Her usual faded blue jeans completed the outfit.

She turned and left the washroom, making her way down the hall to the living room. She found Envy seated on the couch, starting on his second jar of nutella. Mercifully he was back in his usual form, claiming he found it more comfortable.

"Are you sure you aren't Gluttony in disguise? You're going to make yourself sick," she accused, frowning disapprovingly. Envy snorted.

"I already told you. Homonculi can't get sick," he replied, "Which is just as well. You humans have sole proprietorship on looking and acting like pathetic weaklings," Amara's eyes narrowed.

"I hope you catch a cold while you're living here," she retorted irritably. Speaking of colds, she could feel the unpleasant hints of one coming on in her own body. After the poor sleep she'd been getting and then being dragged out into that blizzard, it wouldn't be overly surprising if she caught one. But she really couldn't afford to be sick right now. She had an exam to study for…

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and automatically fished it out. It was likely Rachel letting her know why she was a half hour late. It certainly wasn't an abnormal occurrence for her friend. She had a tendency of losing track of the time. She unlocked the screen and her brow furrowed in puzzlement.

"Who is it this time?" Envy asked, dipping the spoon back in the jar.

"It's my dad again," her tone was perplexed. The homunculus raised an eyebrow.

"What now?"

"Uhhh…" the coppertop stared blankly at the message for a moment, then frowned in confusion, "He wants to know if I know anything about metal prosthetics," her tone was disbelieving. Envy blinked.

"…Like automail?" he asked.

"No idea," Amara shook her head.

There was a light knock on the door and the coppertop jumped slightly. Apparently Rachel was finally putting in an appearance. Her father's out of the blue inquiries would have to wait. She shot a look at Envy and he rolled his eyes, the telltale crackle of red energy appearing over his body. She whirled and strolled over to answer the door. It was a bit awkward to jerk open with the way it was wedged shut, but after a moment the girl on the other side of the door gave it a resounding shove and it swung inward violently, nearly knocking Amara off her feet. She staggered back and gave the blond girl an unenthused look. Her friend was dressed in a beige, mid-length jacket, dark pants and knee high boots, her numerous piercings toned down to simple small studs for wearing at work. Rachel totally ignored the coppertop's silent rebuff and raised an eyebrow at the door.

"What happened to that?" she demanded.

"Uh…well umm…" Amara shifted uneasily.

"Somebody broke in," the voice behind her made her jump. The shiver that ran through her at the sound of his voice told her he was definitely back in his Enver form. Rachel's eyes widened as she stared at the taller teen. Amara noticed, with rather mixed emotions, that her friend's reaction to the shapeshifter's current appearance mirrored her own. She could see a blush beginning to creep over the other girl's cheeks.

"You must be Rachel," Envy easily sidestepped the coppertop and offered a hand to the stunned looking blond.

"Uh...Yeah, that's me," she sounded ever so slightly flustered, reaching out to take the offered hand, assuming he intended a customary handshake. Instead, she gasped as the dark haired young man bent slightly and raised her hand to his lips.

"I'm Enver," he told her with a smirk, releasing her hand and straightening up again. Amara's jaw dropped slightly as she stared at the disguised sin in shock. What…_the hell _was he doing?!

"I-its nice to meet you," Rachel stammered slightly, now blushing quite blatantly.

"Why don't you come in?" Envy suggested, stepping back to allow her by. Amara's jaw snapped shut and she shot him a slightly annoyed look. It was _her_ apartment, not his. What gave him the right to invite people in?

"Oh…thank you," The blond replied, strolling slowly into the apartment as Envy easily shoved the door shut behind her. Amara winced at the sound of splintering wood, but Rachel didn't even appear to notice. She crossed the room to the love seat, quite at home in her friend's apartment. Amara trailed after her and took a seat next to the girl. Seeing as there really wasn't anywhere else to sit Envy leaned against the kitchen counter.

"So um, you said someone broke in?" Rachel's tone was slightly concerned and she finally glanced at her copper haired friend.

"Oh, um, yeah. Well you see…" Amara trailed off uncertainly, not sure where exactly to go with the story.

"When did it happen?" Rachel frowned, not seeming to notice her friend's uneasiness.

"This morning," Amara replied immediately. It was true…Envy had broken down the door that morning. She was suddenly tempted to make up a story about 'Enver' locking himself out, losing his temper and then breaking back in. Envy had clearly taken it into his head to make her eat her own words for telling her friend he was 'a total asshole', so making him look like a short tempered idiot would thwart that nicely.

"Oh man, are you serious?" Rachel gasped, "What happened?" Amara opened her mouth to reply but was smoothly cut off by Envy.

"I had to fight him off," he said matter-of-factly. Rachel's eyes widened as her gaze moved to the disguised sin.

"You did? Is that how your neck got hurt?" she sounded a little awestruck. Amara resisted the urge to face-palm. Envy hadn't bothered to cover up the bandage around his neck, leaving it visible even in his Enver form. Envy nodded gravely.

"Yeah, he had a knife. If I hadn't been here I'm not sure what would have become of our poor little ginger brain," he shot the coppertop an overly obvious, concerned look, but his eyes danced with an infuriating, mocking amusement. Amara's hands clenched into fists and she began counting to ten slowly in her head to keep from flying across the room and slapping him as hard as possible. That conniving bastard had planned this out from the start, just to piss her off.

"You fought off a guy with a knife?" Rachel's tone was curiously amazed, "You must have some martial arts training or something," Amara saw Envy's lips twitch.

"A bit," he replied evasively.

"Wow…" Rachel's tone and expression were having an unpleasant effect on the emotions swirling in Amara's chest. The blond really needed to stop staring at Envy like that. "How come you never mentioned Enver before?" Rachel turned an accusing gaze on her friend. Amara blinked.

"I dunno, it just never came up I guess…" she muttered.

"Amara. You never even mentioned me? I'm hurt," Envy's expression grew rather injured. Amara shot him a flabbergasted look. _Why_ was he doing this?!

"That's Amara for you. Never talks about stuff unless you intentionally drag it out of her," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Why must you always exaggerate?" the coppertop muttered, giving her friend slightly exasperated look.

"I'm sorry I'm late by the way," Rachel said abruptly, "And unfortunately my appointment this evening got bumped up to an earlier time slot so I have to leave right away here. But I wanted to see how you were managing," her expression grew genuinely concerned, "You weren't looking too good the other day. How's the studying coming?" Amara's expression deteriorated and a feeling of despairing defeat crept over her. Rachel frowned. "I take it that means not good," she commented, expression growing speculative, "The depression's gotten worse, hasn't it?" Amara's eyes widened slightly. Well…yes, it had grown a lot worse since they last discussed it. But Envy's arrival had thrown her world off kilter so completely that she'd actually been too distracted to dwell on it much over the last two days. She'd almost forgotten about it, which was rather mind blowing. Never before had something managed to distract her from a depression to this degree. She shot a look at the sin leaning on her kitchen counter. Maybe she had something to thank him for after all. She felt a prick of surprise to see he had narrowed his eyes at her in a suspicious expression. She frowned, puzzled. What was that about?

"Amara?" Rachel drew her attention once more.

"Oh…um…" she really wanted to blow her off with a reassuring smile and say she was fine but…she'd been doing that a lot lately. It was probably getting old. "Well…" her tone was uncertain. Rachel levelled a glare at her.

"I knew you were lying. How bad is it?" she demanded. Amara shrank back slightly from the accusatory expression on her friend's face. She _really_ didn't feel like talking about this… She stared at the floor, fighting an internal battle. Finally she sighed. She might as well just admit it.

"Bad," she muttered. It was a little different from previous depressions she'd had. It wasn't nearly as physically debilitating, which meant it was easier to work through; easier to act like she was just fine. But her mind was far from fine. The dark, disturbing thoughts and ideas that plagued her had been getting downright scary before Envy had crashed into her life. And she knew from experience that distractions, even friggin incredible ones, only worked for so long. The dangerous thoughts would be back; sooner rather than later given the unpleasant exam coming up. Rachel grabbed Amara's shoulder, turning her to face her.

"Don't do anything stupid. You need to get some help," The blonde's expression was dead serious. Amara sighed in exasperation.

"What help? I'm on the highest dose of antidepressants I can take and they aren't working any more. There's nothing the doctor can do short of locking me up," she told her bluntly. Rachel's expression grew pained.

"I wish there was something I could do to help," she sounded a little frustrated. Amara smiled bemusedly at her.

"You shouldn't worry so much. I've got lots of practice with this. I'll just keep on toughing it out. It'll be fine," she reassured her.

"Good grief. _You_ shouldn't be trying to comfort _me_," Rachel muttered, shaking her head, "Alright. But you have to keep in touch! If you don't I'll start coming over every day to check on you. Got it?" Amara smiled half-heartedly.

"Got it," she replied. Rachel's gaze moved back to Envy.

"You know, I was skeptical at first but I'm glad you're staying with her. Watch her like a hawk. Don't let her do anything we'll all regret," she ordered him severely. Astoundingly, despite being given direct orders from a human, Envy nodded. Amara could tell he was a little lost, but he was also still radiating suspicion. The gaze he levelled at her promised a number of questions once the blond her left. She wilted. This wasn't something she wanted to explain to _him_ of all people. Rachel sighed.

"Well… in any case… Hey do you guys want to go out for a drink at some point?" she asked, abruptly changing the subject. Her gaze was lingering on Envy again. Amara's eyes narrowed slightly. Her friend definitely wasn't going to leave this alone. Envy had gone and gotten her attention and now she was obviously very interested.

"Hmm. I'll have to get back to you on that. Between studying and…well…I just don't know if I'll be up to it," Amara replied uncertainly.

"It would probably be good for you to get out. Besides, you shouldn't keep your _friend_," she said the word with an odd tone, "cooped up in your apartment all the time. Seriously, he's going to get bored. No offense, but even you know you're ridiculously antisocial when you get like this," she pointed out bluntly. Amara felt a wave of irritation. She was well aware of when Rachel was genuinely concerned about her, and when she was just interested in getting her own agenda met. And right now her agenda was definitely fixated on the young Turkish man leaning on the counter.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll let you know, ok?" Amara brushed her off.

"You better!" Rachel said, rising to her feet, "Listen, unfortunately I should probably get going. I wish I could stay longer," Amara resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Judging by the look she was giving Envy, the blond was probably kicking herself for scheduling an appointment that evening.

"That's ok, don't worry about it," Amara smiled at her.

"And I'm clearly leaving you in capable hands with Enver, so I suppose I shouldn't worry too much," Rachel added thoughtfully. Amara's expression froze, and she hastily worked to drag her mind back out of the gutter. _Ugh!_ _Whyyyy_ had he picked that form?! It was killing her! She heard a slight cough and levelled a glare at the sin, who appeared to be trying to keep from grinning. "Hey Amara, could you walk down with me?" Rachel asked abruptly. Amara blinked in surprise.

"Umm, sure," she rose and followed after her friend to the door. In an instant, Envy was there pulling the door open. Judging by the sound it made, Amara suspected neither her, nor Rachel would have managed to get the thing open if they'd tried. Rachel shot Envy a warm smile.

"Take care of yourself," she told him, the flirtatious intent in her tone and gaze did astounding things to the odd feeling growing in Amara's chest. What the heck was wrong with her? Rachel was just being Rachel. And it was _Envy_ for heaven's sake!

"Mmmhmm. Come back soon," he replied with a crooked smile. The swooping feeling inside her at that expression was marred by the unpleasant emotion that sprang up over the smile being directed at Rachel. He turned and his gaze met hers. Then his expression filled with a very knowing amusement. Heck, amusement didn't quite cover it. He was enjoying this _way_ too much. The bastard's whole goal with this had been to make her jealous. What a nasty, manipulative, sexy son of a bitch. She _hated _him!

She stormed out the door after Rachel, fuming silently. The two of them strolled down the hall in silence. When they stopped at the elevator Rachel turned to Amara curiously.

"Wow…that guy sure is something. I thought you said he was an asshole?" she sounded a little incredulous. Amara sighed.

"He is when he chooses to be," she muttered.

"Do you know if he's got a girlfriend?" she inquired. Amara stared at her. She wasn't usually prone to physical violence against people (Well, unless they were Envy), but right now she was feeling sorely tempted.

"Umm, no, I don't. I doubt it," she muttered.

"Hmm…he's so….wow. I can't believe you two aren't together. I mean he's gotta be your type!" Rachel sounded a little incredulous.

"Yeah…" Amara's tone was evasive.

"Well if you don't want him then I think I'll try asking him out," Rachel sounded fairly confident. Amara's eyes widened.

"That's a bad idea," she said hastily. The blond raised an eyebrow at her.

"Why?" she demanded skeptically. Amara stared blankly at her for a moment, and then blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"He's gay," she said bluntly. The blonde's eyes widened.

"What?!" Rachel's tone was horrified, "You're kidding me!" Amara shook her head.

"Nope,"

"Ugh. That's just so unfair…" her friend muttered, staring at the floor. Amara let out a breath of relief. The way her friend's expression had crumpled in disappointment almost made her feel bad. But saying he was gay was easier than explaining that he was actually a mass murdering psychopathic homunculus who usually wore the appearance of an androgynous palm tree. "Why are the best men taken, fictional or gay?" Rachel demanded, clearly frustrated. Amara shrugged.

"Life's just a bitch like that," she replied unconcernedly. The blond gave her a flat look.

"Easy for you to say. You haven't had a boyfriend for as long as I've known you, and you never talk about any ex's you might have," she pointed accusingly.

"Because I have neither the time nor the energy to deal with any more drama in my life," Amara retorted. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Whatever," she muttered as the elevator doors slide open with a ding and she strolled inside, "Alright well I'll give you a call tomorrow ok?" Amara nodded. Then something seemed to occur to the blond. "And listen to Enver! You never take good enough care of yourself when you're down. I'm sure he's more than capable of looking after you. I hear gay guys are a lot more caring and sensitive," Rachel told her, her tone quite serious. Amara's eyes widened and she stared at her friend, completely flabbergasted. The blond grinned at her and waved as the doors slide shut, blocking her from view. Amara continued to stare at the shiny doors with a frozen expression. Envy…caring and sensitive? Could there possibly be a more contradicting description of the sin? A giggle bubbled up in her chest and she began to laugh. More than capable of looking after her? Oh man. The _irony_. She was suddenly very glad Envy hadn't followed to them to the elevator. She wasn't entirely sure how he would react to that comment.

She made her way back down the hall and into her room to find Envy leaning on the counter again, back in his usual form. She shoved the door shut behind her a little awkwardly, wincing at the unpleasant aching feeling throughout her body. Clearly she needed some rest while her body fought off this bug. Envy glanced at her and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" she asked, a little puzzled by the suspicion in his expression.

"What was she talking about?" he demanded. Amara frowned.

"It's not important. And it's not any of your business anyway," she retorted, strolling over to the love seat and sinking down to sit cross-legged.

"It's my business of I say it is," Envy snapped. Amara raised her eyebrows.

"Sheesh, what's gotten you all riled up?" her tone was a little weirded out. His eyes narrowed.

"She told you not to do anything stupid and to 'get help'. Sounds like something life threatening. What's life threatening to you is life threatening to me," he pointed out sharply. Amara made a quiet sound of realization. Well that made sense. Then she smirked bitterly.

"It's only life threatening if I chose to make it that way," she told him flatly, "I'm depressed, not dying of cancer," Envy raised an eyebrow, seeming unconvinced. Amara sighed, searching for a way to change the subject. She asked the first question that came to mind.

"So what exactly is your sexual orientation?" she was genuinely curious now after her conversation with Rachel. Envy's eyes grew wide as if she'd dumped a bucket of water over him out of the blue.

"Excuse me?" his tone was disbelieving.

"Well, Rachel was going to ask you out, so I told her that you're gay," Amara told him frankly, "I'm just curious," Envy's eyes widened even further as he stared at her. He didn't appear to know how to respond to such an unexpected admission. It was nice to see him taken completely off guard for a change. Then finally he seemed to recover. His expression grew slightly bemused and he shook his head with a chuckle.

"Don't you think that's a stupid question?" he asked, before a wicked smirk twisted his lips. Red energy crackled across his body and abruptly Amara found herself staring at an identical copy of herself. "I can have the best of both worlds," he told her smugly, his tone and expression rather alien coming from her own form. Amara's eyes widened in shock and then she scrunched them shut in disgust.

"Ugh, you pervert! Don't say stuff like that in my form!" she heard him chuckle with her voice and her eyes snapped open to glare at him, "Speaking of which, what the hell was up with you putting the moves on Rachel?!" she demanded, a little outraged. Envy's expression grew darkly amused and light crackled over him again. A moment later she found herself staring at the appealing form of Enver.

"Oooooh. You sound jealous," his tone was slightly mocking. Amara gasped.

"_What?!_ I am not!"

"Ha!" Envy grinned, "Don't even try to bullshit me on this ginger brain. It's not gonna work," his expression had grown superiorly amused. Realization and embarrassment struck her at the same time. Ugh. This was _Envy_. If there was something he was an expert on, it was probably the sin he was named for. Her eyes narrowed.

"I hate you," she seethed, "Change back!" Envy snickered.

"I dunno. The way you react to his form is rather entertaining," he sounded smug. She sighed in exasperation. She felt a definite headache coming on and her whole body felt achy and tired. Not to mention it must have grown colder in her apartment because she was freezing.

"Alright, whatever. I need to go study some more," she rose stiffly and started across the room to the hallway, but was abruptly cut off by Envy. She just about collided with him, causing her to stagger back slightly in surprise.

"Oh no you don't. I've had more than enough of staring at the back of your head while you wallow in misery. Come up with something else," his tone didn't leave room for argument. She stared at him in disbelief.

"You know, contrary to what you believe, my purpose in life is _not_ to keep you entertained! I _need_ to study. Now move!" she ordered, sounding frustrated. He tisked at her disapprovingly.

"Amara, Amara…keeping me entertained can be much more fun than trying to study," he smirked, leaning in closer and invading her personal bubble. She jerked back with a slight squeak.

"_No thank you! _I would much rather study,_" _her tone was vehement. He chuckled, stepping forward and closing the space between them once again. The proximity of his ruggedly handsome face to hers was doing interesting things to the butterflies in her stomach.

"You are a terrible liar," he informed her dryly, the amused glint in his eyes making her shiver.

"Envy, taking advantage of me in that form is _not_ fair!" She hissed, glaring at him while her cheeks blazed.

"Whoever said I was fair?" he inquired, now leaning in close enough that his nose was brushing hers slightly, "If I have to take advantage of you to keep you from studying it's a small sacrifice to be made," his tone was smug, and part of her itched to reach up and slap him for it. Except a much larger part of her was itching to slide her arms around his neck and kiss him. Conflicting desires… she seemed to get them a lot around this guy.

"I hate you," she whispered fiercely.

"Mmmhmm. I'm sure," he smirked. And then he raised an eyebrow. Suddenly he raised his hand and pressed it against her forehead. She jumped slightly at the unexpected contact.

"What are you doing?" she demanded warily. His eyes narrowed accusingly.

"You have a fever," he told her bluntly. She blinked.

"Oh…" well that explained why she felt so awful. He leaned back and regarded her suspiciously. She frowned, "What?" he opened his mouth to respond and then shut it. Now it was her turn to raise an eyebrow. What was up with him? And then something occurred to her. She hadn't noticed it at first with his tanned skin, but he was actually flushed. And she somehow doubted he was blushing. She reached towards him but he grabbed her wrist.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, eyes still narrowed. She rolled her eyes.

"What do you think?" She reached up with her other hand and pressed it to his forehead. Her eyes widened, "You're burning up!" she cried in surprise. His own eyes widened and he let go of her wrist.

"That's not possible," he retorted, but his tone was a little uncertain. Amara stared at him for a moment. He'd probably never been sick before, so he'd likely been ignoring the symptoms, not knowing what was causing them.

"What hurts me hurts you," she pointed out.

"You're saying I'm sick because _you're_ sick?!" He demanded, slightly outraged. She frowned thoughtfully.

"Actually. You probably aren't sick. I bet you're just experiencing the symptoms that my body is experiencing,"

"How does that change anything?!"

"Well…I suspect it means we don't have to worry about treating you. If I get better you'll get better. So I should probably go try to sleep for a bit," she told him matter-of-factly. He continued to stare at her for several moments before shaking his head in exasperation.

"This is absurd," he muttered. She snorted.

"Welcome to my life," she retorted, stepping around him and heading for the bedroom. She was a little surprised when he followed after her. She glanced back at him skeptically as she made her way over to her bed. "What are you doing?" she asked. He stood in the doorway watching her.

"Making sure you actually sleep instead of studying. You damn well had better recover quickly," he told her sternly. She raised her eyebrows incredulously.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," she muttered sarcastically, pulling back the sheets and slipping under them. She felt so achy and tired…blah… If she wasn't so fuzzily sick feeling she'd probably take exception to Envy standing there watching her fall asleep. But she really didn't give a damn at the moment.

* * *

_"Ah good. You're sick. It'll be a wonderful experience for him. Try to stay that way for a while," the inhuman voice sounded pleased._

_"You have _got_ to be kidding me!" Amara growled. _

_"But you really shouldn't have given your subjugation powers away so easily. It'll be much harder to teach him manors without those," the Truth sounded disapproving. _

_"I don't think it's possible to teach that jerk manors," she muttered disgustedly. _

_"Well you'll certainly have an interesting time of it now. I hope you're prepared to face whatever he does now that you lack control over him," the white humanoid sounded resigned._

_"Well I don't completely lack control over him," Amara retorted, pointing to her neck._

_"What will you do if he restrains you in such a way that you are unable to injure yourself?" the Truth inquired. The coppertop paled. She hadn't thought of that. The humanoid sighed. "You really shouldn't be so impulsive. Luckily Envy will likely be more debilitated by the sickness than you, since he is unused to experiencing such symptoms. But once you're better again you'll have your hands full. Especially given he has almost complete control over you in a certain form…" the Truth sounded unenthused. Amara made a sound of outrage._

_"He does _not_ have complete control over me! He doesn't have _any_ control over me!" _

_"You just keep telling yourself that," the Truth sighed. Amara blinked at his uncharacteristic tone._

_"Why are you so out of character?" she demanded irritably. The humanoid grinned._

_"Whoever said I was constrained by the perceptions you humans have of my character? I am Truth. I can be however I choose," it replied rather imperiously._

_"Ugh. You're annoying, you know that?" Amara's tone was disgusted._

_"Now Amara, it sounds like Envy is rubbing off on you. I hope you realize it's supposed to be the other way around,"_

_"Look, I don't know what delusions you have about my power of creating miracles, but there's no way in hell I'm going to rub off on that envious little worm-like creature," she said flatly. The Truth hummed._

_"You'd be surprised. As long as he's tied to you he is much more influenced by your feelings and beliefs than you realize. Of course once I sever the connection, he may very well return to his normal self. I rather hope that isn't the case however…"_

_"If he bugs you so much, why not just blast him out of existence?" Amara inquired._

_"Because that defeats the purpose of allowing him to being created in the first place," the humanoid replied simply. Amara raised a quizzical eyebrow. _

_"Right…" _

_"In any case, I doubt he'll be much use in taking care of you while you're sick. In fact, you might have to take care of him," the Truth mused._

_"You're kidding…right?" her tone was disbelieving. _

_"No. Envy's never been very good at toughing things out," it replied dryly. Amara stared at the creature._

_"Do you have any idea how unfair this is? I can't afford to be sick right now. I need to be studying for that exam! And that idiot you've dumped on me won't let me!" she complained._

_"If you hadn't given away your subjugation powers then that wouldn't be an issue. It isn't my problem that you didn't think things through," the Truth sounded unconcerned. Amara growled. _

_"You're such a pain!" she hissed. _

_"Yes," the white humanoid hummed thoughtfully, "The truth hurts… or so I've heard you humans say," it sounded rather amused. Amara rolled her eyes. And then she blinked in confusion as her vision began to grow fuzzy._

_"Wait…what…?"_

_"It's time for you to wake up now. I believe Envy is in need of attention," the Truth said. _

* * *

Amara's eyes snapped open. Judging by the low light levels streaming in from the window it was nearing dusk. She was lying on her side, and much to her alarm she felt something warm against her back. With a hoarse yelp she rolled away and sat up, staring down at the palm-tree like hair poking out from under the covers.

"_Envy!" _ Her throat complained vehemently over her hoarse shout but she didn't care, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she demanded furiously. She heard a muffled sound and the partly exposed head slipped farther under the covers. She frowned in puzzlement. The homunculus was completely bundled in covers. He'd even stolen most of the covers off of her side of the bed.

"Umm…are you ok?" she leaned closer and pulled at the covers slightly, trying to expose his face. He clung to them for a moment before she managed to strip them away. "Hey, what's wrong?" she winced at how raspy her voice sounded, but frowned in concern. The palm-tree haired homunculus looked so miserable she actually felt sorry for him. His eyes were shut tightly, his arms hugged close to himself as shivers wracked his form. There was a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead and his cheeks were flushed. Any remaining anger over his invasion of her sleeping area drained away. The poor guy probably felt like he was freezing to death with the chills from the fever. She rested a hand on his shoulder and gently shook him. "Envy, you need to wake up. I can give you some stuff to help you feel better," she told him coaxingly. Slowly his eyes blinked open. The purple irises and slit pupils had an uncharacteristic glazed look to them. He turned his head and his gaze slowly focused on her.

"Why do I feel like this?" his voice was just as raspy as hers.

"You're sick," she told him carefully. He stared at her for a minute before another violent shiver ran through him and his head sank back against the pillow. She sighed. She didn't feel a heck of a lot better than he did. Her head was pounding and her throat felt raw. And damn was it ever cold in her apartment! She wanted some of those covers Envy had stolen. She felt a slight shiver run through herself. Well, at least her stomach didn't feel sick. And actually, on that note, neither of them had had any supper. Maybe Envy didn't need any, but it probably wouldn't hurt him to have some hot soup. She gently shook his shoulder again.

"Envy, you need to get up and come with me," she told him. He pulled the covers tighter around himself with a muffled moan. She rolled her eyes. "You can bring the covers with you. Come on. Don't let yourself be outdone by a human," she hoped adding that little dig in would convince him to follow her. She slipped out of bed and headed across the room to the door. She glanced back at him expectantly. Finally she saw his form shift and then slowly sit up. After a moment he slid out of bed and slowly followed after her, easily pulling all of the covers off the bed as he went, including the large, fluffy comforter. She felt a prick of relief. There was no way in hell she could drag him if he chose to ignore her.

She headed into the kitchen and pulled open one of the cupboards where she kept some medication. Tylenol would likely help with the fever, although she wasn't entirely sure if it would work for a homunculus. Well…if they both took it then hopefully one way or another it would help. She filled two glasses of water from the tap and dumped out four extra strength pills. She grabbed two, turning and handing them to Envy who had shuffled up behind her.

"Here, swallow these with the water. It'll help with the fever," she told him. He stared at them for a moment before he obeyed. She popped her own two pills into her mouth and swallowed them down. "Alright, why don't you curl up on the couch? I'm going to make us some soup," she said, turning to grab a pot from under one of the cupboards. After a moment, the somewhat dazed homunculus obeyed, shuffling over to the couch and sinking down amidst his train of blankets. Amara filled the pot with water and set it on the stove to boil. She got out two mugs to pour the soup into when it was finished, and then stared numbly at the counter for a moment, shivering slightly. Ugh. Her head felt like it was going to explode. Being sick sucked. She turned and headed over to the thermostat on the wall beside the door and cranked up the heat. Feeling chilled was one of her least favorite things. After staring at the little box glumly for a moment she decided it was going to take a while before turning it up had much effect. She headed back over to the pot and waited for the water to boil.

Ten minutes later she poured the steaming hot, Lipton chicken noodle soup into the mugs and carried them carefully over to the coffee table.

"Alright, these are really hot so we should probably let them cool a bit," she rasped, coughing slightly as her throat tickled uncomfortably. Envy made no response, continuing to sit and stare at the floor while he shivered. She sighed, feeling painfully tired. She walked over and sank down next to him, pulling some of his blankets over her shoulders. Abruptly he leaned over and slid his arms around her, pulling her as close to him as possible, meaning she was just about in his lap.

"_Envy!_" She squawked, "What do you think you're doing?"

"You're warm," his hoarse voice came out almost as a whimper. She wanted to violently protest, but nothing in his demeanor suggested that he was intentionally trying to make her uncomfortable. He just seemed absolutely miserable. She could feel him shivering against her and felt a prick of sympathy for the pitiful looking creature.

"Alright… although I don't really appreciate being treated as a human hot water bottle," she muttered half-heartedly. His only response was to tighten his hold around her and rest his head against hers. For a moment she felt awkwardly tense with the situation. She definitely hadn't pegged Envy as the cuddly type. Then again, she'd never seen him quite this miserable either. Still, being cuddled by something a hundred times stronger and heavier than her, not to mention something much more maliciously twisted than her, was decidedly unnerving. And there really wasn't anything she could do about it. She wouldn't be able to squirm out of his grasp if she tried, and she lacked to energy to bother making an attempt. Another shiver ran through her and she let out a resigned sigh, admitting defeat and relaxing in his grip. At least she was getting the same benefit from this that he was: warmth.

"When am I going to start feeling better?" Envy mumbled. Amara smiled bemusedly.

"Whenever I start feeling better I guess…I've got a pretty sturdy immune system so I don't usually stay sick long," she reassured him. The way her voice was rasping didn't make the statement all that convincing. She felt him hum tiredly against her hair. He actually seemed to be dozing off. Not that this meant he'd lessened his hold on her any. Obviously she wasn't going to be going anywhere until he decided he no longer needed his own personal heater. But she was too tired to feel irritated by it. Maybe he had the right idea. Going back to sleep sounded good.

* * *

For the first time in several days Truth chose not to take control of her dreams. Unfortunately this only meant that she was plagued by nightmarish fever dreams. A particularly unpleasant one sent her bolting awake, eyes flying open with a gasp. The room was just about pitch black. Judging by the howling of the wind outside it was still blizzarding, which covered most of the light that the streetlights of the city usually provided through the living room window. In her rattled state of sudden wakening, the feeling of something around her securing her in place sent a wave of panic through her. She began to struggle blindly for a moment, mind scrambling to make sense of what was going on. She almost managed to break loose from whatever it was when it abruptly tightened around her, constricting much of her movement.

"What are you doing?" the sleepy voice sounded annoyed. Amara drew in a sharp breath.

"Envy," she whispered in realization. Right…they'd fallen asleep on the couch. Apparently he still hadn't let go of her yet. "Why are you still holding onto me?" she demanded.

"Because I'm still cold," he replied flatly. His voice was still decidedly hoarse sounding. Amara frowned. Her head was still throbbing slightly and her throat felt like sandpaper, but the chills had eased off and she wasn't aching as much all over; which led her to believe that the fever had receded. Except that Envy was still radiating heat like a furnace and she could still feel him shivering slightly. She carefully reached up a hand in the dark, following his shoulder up to his neck and face till she found his forehead.

"You're still burning up," she whispered worriedly, "But that doesn't make any sense. Why would you still have a fever if I don't…?" there was only one possibility she could think of. He wasn't just experiencing her symptoms. He was actually, genuinely sick. Perhaps her own body getting sick had given the virus access to Envy's body somehow…and while her immune system was use to fighting off colds and flus relatively quickly, Envy hadn't ever been sick before; which meant that his immune system likely wasn't particularly strong. She frowned. Envy was supposed to be immortal right? Well… as immortal as a character could be anyway. So surely he'd be just fine… a doubt crept into the back of her mind. What if because the virus had accessed him through her, his powers refused to work to fight it off? Was he in actual danger of dying?

She shook her head. It was better to deal with one thing at a time. For the moment, she doubted he was in any life threatening danger.

"Envy if you let me get up I can go reheat that soup for you. It'll help you warm up," she promised. His grip around her tightening further was his only response. She winced slightly. This was getting a little too snug for her liking. "Envy please. I'm trying to help you feel better," her voice had a pleading edge to it.

"No," he replied mulishly. Amara let out an exasperated sigh.

"You're such a stubborn idiot! If you don't let me help you you're going to be sick and miserable for longer than you need to be," frustration colored her tone. She felt him shift slightly beside her.

"I thought you said I would get better when you got better?" he sounded slightly suspicious.

"Well…umm…" she sounded a little uncertain.

"What?" he demanded.

"Well my fever's receded but yours has gotten worse, so…that must mean you're genuinely sick too. You aren't just experiencing my symptoms," she explained hesitantly.

"That isn't possible," there was an edge to his voice. Amara couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"Well obviously it is, since you're clearly sicker than I am," she muttered. An uncomfortable silence followed and she wilted slightly. "Look, I'll go reheat the soup and get you some medicine and then if you want me to I'll come back and sit with you," she sounded resigned. There was another brief silence.

"Promise?" he asked. She gave his outline an odd look.

"Uh…sure…but you could just grab me and force me to sit with you anyway you know," she said bluntly. And then her jaw snapped shut. Why on earth would she say that? Sheesh the last thing he needed was encouragement to force her into things!

"I don't want to move," he mumbled, sounding rather miserable. Amara stared at him for a moment before sighing. She felt a reluctant wash of sympathy for the poor creature. Evil or otherwise, she couldn't help but feel bad for something that felt that awful. Heck, she'd hated watching his death scene in Brotherhood despite not particularly liking him to begin with.

"Alright, I'll be right back. But you've gotta let go first," she told him gently. She heard him sigh, but his grip on her loosened and he finally released her. She rose stiffly to her feet, feeling aches and pains through her body from falling asleep in such an unusual position. Surely to heavens there was a more comfortable way of doing this. Then a thought occurred to her and she winced. Sick or otherwise, she wasn't a fan of the idea of crawling into bed with the homunculus… The idea alone felt very weird.

She made her way carefully across the room in the dark until she found a light switch. Flicking it on, she squinted past the blinding brightness of it and began hunting in the kitchen cupboards. After a moment she found was she was looking for: A box of Neocitrin. She hated the stuff, but other than Tylenol she didn't have any other cold medication in the house. At least the unpleasant liquid covered more symptoms than the Tylenol did... She flicked on the electric kettle on the counter and set about making a new package of soup. The cold cups sitting on the coffee table probably only had mush for noodles at this point.

A short while later she had four steaming mugs sitting on the counter in front of her. Two of them smelled rather unpleasantly of lemon. Steeling herself, she grabbed the two lemon scented ones and headed back into the living room where the bedraggled looking homunculus was waiting for her.

"Alright," she said, coming to a halt in front of him, "Before you grab me again you need to drink this and you need to drink your soup,"

"What is that?" he asked, making an unimpressed face at the smell coming from the mugs.

"It's disgusting," she told him bluntly, "But it _will_ make you feel better, and I have to drink it too so it's not just you suffering through it," her tone was resigned. He regarded her skeptically. She sighed. "Do you want to feel better or not? Hell, it's not like I'm trying to poison you. Something tells me that would be counterproductive," she muttered. He raised an eyebrow, but reluctantly extended a hand forward from under its cocoon of blankets and took one of the mugs.

"Be careful! It's hot," she warned as he raised it to his lips. He took a small sip and then his expression twisted in a grimace.

"What _is_ this stuff?" he demanded, sounded rather disgusted. She carefully sank down on the edge of the loveseat, as far from the sick sin as she could manage.

"It's called Neocitrin. What it lacks in flavour it makes up for in effectiveness…At least…it does for me anyway. It doesn't always affect everyone the same way," She felt a slight prick of unease at the thought. It usually made her drowsy and then the next day she felt quite a bit better. But Rachel on the other hand got buzzed off the stuff and it didn't really do much for her. Amara winced internally, hoping it wouldn't have the latter effect on the homunculus.

"Why is it so damn hot?" he grumbled, "At least if it was a reasonable temperature you could drink it quickly and get it over with,"

"You've got a point there... But the hot will help warm you up," she pointed out.

"Assuming I manage to drink it in the first place. You humans make such disgusting medication," he scowled down at his mug. Amara smirked slightly.

"Considering this is only the second human medication you've ever tried, I think you might be jumping to conclusions," she said dryly. Then she glanced down at her own mug, bracing herself for the inevitable.

Fifteen minutes later Envy set his empty soup mug down on the coffee table next to his empty Neocitrin mug. Amara had already finished both of hers, since she was use to drinking the unpleasant medication at scalding hot temperatures as quickly as possible. She eyed the homunculus uncertainly. He had a rather heavy lidded look to his eyes.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, a concerned edge to her voice. She had ended up moving closer to him on the couch to get under the blankets with him. Her chills had come back, making her wonder if maybe she wasn't getting better as fast as she'd thought. He glanced at her and her feeling of unease grew. His eyes had an odd, glazed over appearance, leading her to wonder if he was really all there at the moment… Apparently the medication was already having a significant effect on him. She shifted nervously, starting to pull away from him. Maybe if he was drugged like this she could actually get away and lock herself in her room. Then she saw his eyes widen slightly as apparently the realization that she was trying to leave sunk into his slow moving mind. Suddenly he moved blindingly quickly, grabbing her and swinging her up, firmly pinning her down on the love seat. She let out a yelp as she was partially crushed. How on earth had he moved that fast?! He'd basically lifted her up and slammed her into the cushions, partially knocking the wind out of her. He was practically lying on top of her. They barely fit on the small couch, their feet hanging off the end slightly.

"Envy!" she gasped, having difficulty taking normal breaths with his weight on her chest. He stared down at her with his slit pupils still strangely out of focus. Then he seemed to come to the conclusion that he'd satisfactorily trapped his personal heater in place. He relaxed, lowering his head to rest against her shoulder while his arms remained locked around her like iron bars.

"Oh no…no way…don't you dare fall asleep now! Envy get off!" she wheezed, half wondering if her ribs were going to crack under the weight of his now limp form. His breathing grew slow and even and his eyes were shut. Dammit all he'd gone and fallen asleep on top of her! This was so _not_ ok. Hell it was friggin uncomfortable for one. His arms under her back felt as hard and unyielding as bricks. On top of which a lock of his palm-tree-like hair had fallen forward and was tickling her face. Secondly, he was invading her personal bubble about as much as physically possible short of trying to rip her clothes off. It didn't matter that he was drugged out of his mind and just in search of warmth. She was going to tear him to shreds when she finally managed to get out from under him. As it was, she wasn't going anywhere until he woke up. Even with his arms limp, the weight of his body was more than enough to keep her pinned in place. She let out a defeated moan. Why her?

* * *

Needless to say it was a _very_ long night. Envy didn't budge a muscle the entire time. It was like he'd turned into a slowly breathing rock. She slipped in and out of light dozes, but it was difficult to sleep when one felt this uncomfortable; although the lack of oxygen from her crushed lungs did help with slipping into unconsciousness. Slowly, painfully slowly, the light from the window grew stronger. Apparently the storm had eased off throughout the night and the snow was falling much lighter now. From where she was pinned she couldn't see the clock on the microwave, and she couldn't remember if she'd bothered to check the time when they'd first woken up anyway. Either way, it seemed to take _forever_ for the sun to creep above the horizon little by little. Eventually the room was bathed in the pale, grey morning light of winter. She could tell from the color that it was going to be a dreary, overcast day. Despite this, Envy didn't even stir. She felt a wash of despair and her eyes slipped shut. Not only was she uncomfortable, but after another night of terrible sleep, she felt downright awful again. Apparently Neocitrin could only do so much if the body wasn't given proper rest. Despite the warmth of the homunculus on top of her she felt chills trying to creep into her body, and her head was throbbing as fiercely as ever. And she was _so_ unbelievably tired now. Even if Envy suddenly let her go, she didn't think she'd have the energy to go anywhere.

Then finally she felt movement on top of her. The homunculus shifted ever so slightly, and then his arms slipped out from under her as he raised his head and propped himself up slightly. She felt a wash of relief in her chest as much of the weight was removed from it and she was able to breathe relatively freely once more. Her eyelids flickered open tiredly and she saw him staring down at her. His eyes seemed clear and back to normal again, and the flush had disappeared from his cheeks. He actually looked like he was doing quite a bit better. There was a puzzled expression on his face and he raised an eyebrow.

"How did we end up like this?" he asked curiously. Her eyes widened slightly and then narrowed in anger.

"You friggen grabbed me and pinned me here you jerk. Don't you remember?" she demanded, hostility radiating from her despite her fatigue. Her voice was still painfully raspy. He blinked at her for a moment and then frowned thoughtfully before shaking his head.

"No, I don't. The last thing I remember is crawling in bed next to you to get warm," he told her frankly. She stared at him for a moment before wilting.

"Please, _please_ don't ever fall asleep on top of me again," she whimpered. He blinked, and then a slight smirk began to pull at his lips.

"That bad huh?"

"Do you have any idea how heavy you are? I'm amazed I didn't suffocate," she muttered. He snorted, and then a look of dark amusement crept over his face.

"You're just lucky I didn't have any dreams," he smirked darkly. She gave him a slightly disturbed look.

"Why exactly…?"

"Because you might not have woken up in one piece," he chuckled. Her eyes widened dramatically.

"_What_?" she squeaked. He shook his head in amusement, choosing not to answer. Instead he slowly sat up, shifting so he was sitting on the edge of the couch, off of her legs. She drew in a deep breath of relief, savoring the feeling of freedom.

"Well, I don't know what happened last night but I feel way better," he commented, eyeing the mugs on the coffee table curiously.

"You're welcome," Amara muttered, "I feel awful…" her whole body felt achy and uncomfortable. She suspected she felt just about as miserable as Envy had the previous night. The green haired sin glanced at her.

"You look terrible," he said bluntly.

"Gee…I wonder why…" her tone was caustic. He glanced at the four mugs and then back at her.

"If you had the same medicine as me then why are you still sick?" he sounded puzzled.

"Because _somebody_ kept me up all night," she grumbled. He hummed thoughtfully.

"You should make some coffee," he suggested. She shot him an incredulous look before letting out a pained chuckle.

"Sorry buddy," she retorted hoarsely, "I think you broke your personal servant. I'm not sure I can stand right now," he frowned at her, clearly finding this to be a nuisance.

"You can't seriously be that weak," he sounded rather disapproving. She felt a spark of outrage and managed to sit up slightly in her wave of fury.

"Look here palm-tree. You might not remember last night, but you were a hell of a lot worse off than I am now. So don't get all patronizing calling me weak! You're the one who passed out on me all night," she seethed. His eyes narrowed slightly.

"I would never stoop as low as to be as weak as you," he retorted. The anger bubbling up inside of her had her practically on the edge of tears.

"You asshole!" she hissed, pathetically weak voice taking away much of the venom. She forced herself into a seated position and her head spun. "Get over here dammit all. I'm going to beat the living daylights out of you!" she wanted to full out tackle him and tear him apart, but she barely managed to jerk forward in an attempt to claw at his arm. He easily caught her wrist in his hand, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Boy. You really are weaker than before," he commented blandly.

"I hate you," her growl sounded more like a whimper and her eyes slipped shut. Her head was spinning and pounding to the point where she almost felt sick to her stomach. She heard him sigh.

"Well you aren't much good to me like this," he muttered, "And I'm stuck with you," his tone was rather disgusted. A moment later she felt movement beside her and she was abruptly scooped up. Her eyes snapped open with a gasp, as she suddenly found herself slung over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?!" she cried hoarsely, "Stop it!" being partly upside down was doing no favors for her head or stomach. "Envy, please put me down," she pleaded, hating how pathetic she sounded. She could practically hear him roll his eyes as he set off towards the hallway. He strolled down the hall and into her bedroom before walking over to the bed and dropping her unceremoniously onto the bare mattress.

"Oww," she complained, shifting slightly to a more comfortable position but not bothering to sit up or look around. Her whole body was protesting the less than gentle treatment. She heard him leave the room and return a moment later. Then a pile of blankets landed on her abruptly.

"Oomph," she struggled weakly under the rather weighty mass of covers. She managed to find the edge and push them away from her head awkwardly. She glanced around wearily and met Envy's gaze.

"Hurry up and get better," he glowered, arms crossed as he stared her down grumpily. She blinked at him slowly before letting herself go limp against the mattress.

"Why don't you just kill me now and put me out of my misery," she muttered, staring dully at the wall. He sighed in exasperation. She heard him stroll out of the room and moment later her eyes slipped shut. After such a long and unpleasant night she slipped into unconsciousness almost immediately.

She woke some time later to someone shaking her shoulder. She blinked blearily, wondering why he could possibly want her to wake up.

"Drink this," Envy ordered, thrusting a mug in front of her face. She stared at it dumbly for a moment and then wrinkled her nose as the scent of lemon wafted over her. She pushed herself up slightly, giving him an odd look.

"You made me Neocitrin?" she was definitely puzzled. How had he figured out how to use the kettle?

"Well it worked for me so obviously it should work for you," he sounded rather impatient. She frowned slightly.

"But…why? I don't understand…" she trailed off uncertainly. He gave her a flat look.

"Because you're bloody boring when you're like this and I'm tired of waiting around," he told her bluntly. She stared at him for a moment. Well…that sounded plausible. Either way, it couldn't hurt to drink some more of the awful stuff. She reached out and took the mug carefully and felt a wash of surprise. It was cold. Well then. Obviously he hadn't figured out how to work the kettle after all... She held her breath and drank the cool syrupy liquid down as quickly as possible. Swallowing the last of it with a grimace, she handed him back the mug.

"Good. Now sleep," he ordered flatly.

"As you wish my lord," she muttered, heavy sarcasm lacing her tone. Slowly, she sank back down against the pillows and closed her eyes. She was asleep before she even heard him walk away.

* * *

**-Author's Note-**

**I had way too much fun writing this chapter. Although, I find writing Envy OOC to be challenging...it just feels so _wrong_ x'D yet strangely entertaining lol. I apologize for any typos you may find. I've tried to comb over it as thoroughly as I can, but my beta reader is preoccupied for the time being and I've likely missed stuff.  
**

**Oh, and for those of you who live in the States (and elsewhere), the legal drinking age in Alberta, Canada, is 18 years of age. I mention this partly because Rachel briefly mentioned going out for drinks in this chapter, but more so because alcohol comes into play in the next chapter, as you will see xP**

**On a random note, I realized the other day that I never bothered selecting a main character for this story o.O apparently I overlooked it when uploading the first chapter. That has now been remedied! Envy is now officially the main anime character of this story xD in case you hadn't noticed by now...*cough***

**So...is this getting closer to crack? It just keeps getting odder from here on out... next chapter is actually my favorite chapter of the story xD I'll upload it later this week. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When she rose to consciousness once again she felt a warm, contented feeling throughout her body. The pounding headache had disappeared and she was rather glued to the mattress in relaxation. Her eyes flickered open slowly and she processed that morning light was streaming in her window again. She frowned slightly. She'd clearly been a sleep for a while, so did that mean she'd slept all day and all night until the next day? She pondered this for a moment before an unpleasant dropping sensation shot through her stomach. How many days did she have left before the exam? She poured over the last few days in her mind and then felt a wash of panic. The exam was the day after tomorrow!

She sat bolt upright in bed, panting slightly. Her gaze darted around the room, and then it occurred to her to wonder where exactly the homunculus had gotten to.

"Envy?" she called questioningly. There was no answer. She frowned. Had he broken his promise and run off? "Envy, come here," she ordered hesitantly. After several moments of silence her frown deepened. Where on earth was he? She slowly slid out of bed, stretching her stiff limbs and grimacing over the feeling of having slept in normal everyday clothes. She glanced around the room and froze. Her laptop was missing from the desk. Her eyes widened slightly. What the hell? If he had done something to her laptop there would be hell to pay. She needed it for studying!

She strolled to the door and down the hall, anxiety eating at her until her gaze landed on him seated on the couch. Relief crashed over, followed by puzzlement. The laptop was sitting in front of him on the coffee table and he had an absolutely horrified look on his face. In fact, he appeared frozen in place, eyes wide with shock and disgust. She blinked several times.

"Envy?" she questioned uncertainly. He didn't move, or even blink. Raising an eyebrow she crossed the room and sank down next to him carefully. She peered at the laptop screen and a single word jumped out and caught her eye that made her heart freeze. "_Edvy"_. She slowly glanced at the homunculus next to her. He still hadn't moved. Swallowing nervously, she reached out and snapped the laptop closed. Envy blinked as if suddenly released from a spell. He turned to stare at her, expression still disturbed. She raised her eyebrows.

"Why were you reading fanfiction?" she demanded skeptically. He stared at her for a moment before he finally spoke.

"What. The _hell_. Is wrong with you humans?" his voice was a little hoarse. She raised her hands a little defensively.

"Don't lump me in with Edvy fans. I don't get off on yaoi. But seriously, look at yourself. You're practically begging for it by picking such a girly form," she pointed out bluntly. He continued to stare at her. Finally she rolled her eyes.

"Why are you so bothered by this? I thought you said you 'enjoyed the best of both worlds'?" she quoted him distastefully. He blinked slowly before his expression grew exasperated.

"I don't care about _that_. Why the hell would they pair me with the _pipsqueak_?!" his voice cracked slightly, "What the fuck? How is there anything appealing about the little blonde runt?!" he glared at her in outrage. Amara's own eyes widened and she stared at him in shock, trying to wrap her head around his unexpected reaction. Finally she managed to find her voice.

"Ok let me get this straight…you aren't upset over being painted as gay. You're just upset about getting paired with Edward?" her tone was incredulous. He nodded stiffly, still glaring at her. She continued to stare at him, an odd expression on her face. Finally he raised an eyebrow.

"What?" he sounded slightly defensive, "I'm a shapeshifter. I'm not constrained by sexuality," he pointed out flatly. She slowly nodded.

"Right," her voice came out a little squeaky, "Well, I hate to break as far as I can tell Edvy is pretty much your most popular pairing," his eyes narrowed further and he growled slightly. She leaned away from him nervously.

"Don't take it out on me! I don't even write fanfiction!" her tone was a little desperate. The way he was glaring at her was making her supremely uncomfortable. Then she saw his gaze move to her laptop. She gasped.

"Don't you dare!" she cried, leaping up swiftly. He shot her an irritated look.

"What?" he snapped. She scooped up her laptop, cradling it protectively.

"Don't take it out on my laptop," she replied, eyeing him uneasily. His expression darkened and he rose.

"Why don't I just take it out on you then?" his tone was rather menacing. She shivered slightly, taking a step back.

"Don't you think that'd be kind of counterproductive?" she suggested nervously. He continued to glare at her and took a step forward. She took another step back and he continued pressing forward. A moment later he had backed her up against the wall near the front door. She hugged the laptop tighter and cringed slightly at the hostility radiating from the green haired sin.

At that moment the telephone on the wall near her head blared out a ring, causing her to jump in surprise. Envy's glare flicked to the telephone and she could've sworn she heard him give a resigned sigh before reaching out and picking it up. Amara's eyes widened. Was he seriously going to answer her phone?

"Hello?" he pressed the phone to his ear. She felt a surprised thrill to hear Enver's voice coming out of his lips. She watched his expression grow to a slow smile and felt a prick of unease.

"Rachel. Yes, this is Enver," he replied to a voice on the other end of the line. Amara frowned, clinging to her laptop one-handed as she attempted to snatch the phone away from him. He easily caught her wrist in his free hand, smirking tauntingly at her. "That sounds like fun. We'd love to join you," he said. Amara's eyes widened.

"What?" she hissed.

"Oh Amara was sick yesterday actually. She was in bed most of the day. She's doing much better today though," he explained gravely. Then his smirk returned in full force. "Yeah, I'll be sure to do that," he replied, tone ever so slightly smug. Amara gave him a look of consternation. What on earth were the two of them talking about? "Alright, sounds good. We'll see you around seven then," he said. Then he pulled the phone away from his ear and hung it up.

"What the hell?" Amara demanded, her tone frustrated. Envy smirked.

"I've been ordered to take _very _good care of you," his tone was darkly amused. Amara glared flatly at him.

"Not funny. What did you agree to go to at seven?" she demanded. He snorted.

"We're going out for drinks to the usual bar that the two of you go to. Wherever that is," he turned away and strolled back into the living room.

"What?!" Amara yelped, "I am _not_ taking you out for drinks! No way in hell!"

"Unfortunately for you, I'm not giving you a choice in the matter," Envy glanced at her superiorly, "Your apartment is boring. I want to see more of your world," Amara stared at him flabbergasted.

"No way! I can't trust you not to get us into trouble!" she protested vehemently. He grinned at her.

"You're right. You can't," he replied smugly. She glared daggers at him.

"I'm not taking you anywhere!" she spat. He rolled his eyes.

"Either you come willingly, or I'll drag you there by force," he said bluntly. "And don't you think it would be rather difficult to explain to your friend why I'm dragging you to the bar bound and chained?" his tone was innocent. She stared at him for several moments.

"I hate you," she hissed finally, turning and storming down the hall to her room.

She returned the laptop to its desk and sank into the computer chair, resting her head in her hands. What on earth was she going to do? She needed to study! But at this point it was starting to look like a lost cause. She'd barely touched the final unit, let alone reviewed everything she needed to. The thought of going to an exam without having learned all of the appropriate material was mind boggling. On a course like this it sealed her fate. She'd never pass at this point. A crushing wave of despair washed over her. She was totally screwed.

Her cellphone buzzed on the desk. She glanced at it distractedly. Why was her dad suddenly texting her so frequently? Then again, she'd never responded to his last cryptic question. But really, why did he think she would know anything about prosthetics? She couldn't fathom where the topic would even come from. With a resigned sigh she snatched up the phone and opened the message.

_Amara…would you ever consider babysitting? _

The coppertop stared down at the phone blankly. She was starting to wonder if someone had stolen her father's phone and started prank texting her. Fullmetal Alchemist, prosthetics and babysitting… What the hell?

"You aren't planning on studying all day, are you ginger brain?" Envy called from the living room, effectively distracting her from her father's mysterious communications. She let out a low growl of frustration.

"Leave me alone you jerk! I'm going to fail this exam because of you!" she called back heatedly.

"Then why are you bothering to study?" Envy appeared at the bedroom door, a skeptical expression on his face. Amara wilted.

"I don't know…"

"So what are you going to do to keep me amused?" Envy demanded, crossing his arms and leaning on the door frame. She shot him a dark look.

"I dunno. Maybe I'll go find a flame thrower and attempt to re-enact your death scene," her tone was bitterly sarcastic. His expression slipped into a flat glare.

"Not funny," his tone was unimpressed. Amara snorted.

"Maybe not …but it'd be immensely satisfying," she murmured dryly. Envy rolled his eyes.

"You couldn't kill someone if your life depended on it," he retorted. Amara cocked her head thoughtfully.

"I think it would depend on the situation," she mused.

"Whatever. You still haven't answered my question," he pointed out, tone slightly impatient. Amara stared at him. He wasn't going to let this drop. And blowing up and attacking him hadn't worked very well last time… She might as well just give up on the idea of studying. It clearly wasn't going to happen. But how was she supposed to entertain him…?

"How do you feel about board games?" she asked uncertainly. He raised an eyebrow.

"No," was his flat response. Amara frowned, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

"How about a movie and popcorn?" she asked hopefully. He blinked.

"…come again?" there was a blankly confused expression on his face. A grin crept into Amara's expression. Bingo.

* * *

"I never thought I'd say this. But those creatures make the pipsqueak look tall," Envy was staring at the screen with an expression of puzzled curiosity. Once he'd gotten over the novelty of the moving people on the screen and been utterly enraptured by the chaotic fight scene in the beginning of the movie, he'd sat back on the couch and watched skeptically as Bilbo Baggins explained the various details of the Shire and the Hobbits living there. Amara grinned slightly. He was actually taking it better than she'd expected. If he wasn't gagging and fleeing the room at the innocent naivety of the Shire, there was a good chance he'd survive through the whole movie.

"What did you say this was called again?" he asked.

"The Lord of the Rings," she replied, reaching into the bowl of popcorn in Envy's lap and contentedly munching the buttery kernels.

"Why rings? Why not something a little more badass?" he demanded, a quizzical expression on his face.

"Like what? Philosophers Stones?" she asked dryly. Envy shrugged.

"There had better be some half decent villains in this. That Sauron guy got wiped out way to easily," he sounded skeptical.

"The ring wraiths show up pretty soon," Amara reassured him.

"Ring wraiths?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Just watch the movie!" she retorted. There was silence for several minutes.

"Are there going to be more battle scenes like there were in the beginning? 'Cause I don't know how much more of this fluffy crap I can take," he had a pained expression on his face. Amara rolled her eyes.

"How about I skip ahead to some action?" she suggested.

"Yes _please_!" he sounded desperately relieved. Amara blinked, and then turned to stare at him.

"What?" he frowned.

"…You just said please," her tone was shocked. His eyes widened slightly.

"No I didn't! Hurry up and skip ahead dammit!" he snapped, eyes focussing back on the screen.

"Right…" she wasn't at all convinced, but she reluctantly obeyed.

* * *

Evening came far too quickly for her taste. They'd made it through the first movie, and part of the second before she'd reluctantly concluded they needed to start getting ready. She stared at herself in the mirror uncertainly. She wasn't one for dressing up, but it was a custom that when she and Rachel went out in the evening they made a point of looking their best. Which meant turtlenecks and baggy jeans were out of the question. Rachel had dragged her out shopping not that long ago, and the blond likely expected her to make use of what they'd bought. It wasn't really Amara's style, but she uncomfortably admitted Rachel knew how to dress to attract. Shiny, black high heeled boots snuggly hugged the curves of her calves over a pair of tight, dark, skinny jeans. A pale blue blouse made of wispy material that clung to her figure fell off of one shoulder and showed a touch more skin than she was comfortable with, the style of the shirt leaving the majority of her back bare. A shimmery scarf was wrapped about her neck to hide the bandage there and her eyes were darkened by more makeup than she typically made use of. Her coppery waves were swept to the side in a loose side ponytail which fell over her bare shoulder.

She let out a resigned sigh. On any other night she might actually somewhat enjoy going out with Rachel and getting out of her dreary apartment. But between Envy, and her exam, and how unpleasantly hopeless she still felt, socializing wasn't an appealing thought. She glanced at the door and swallowed nervously. She knew Envy was waiting in the living room in his Enver form. And doubtless he wouldn't be dressing any more casually than she was. She wasn't sure she was going to be able to survive an evening with the sin in that form. Especially given that every other female they ran into would be falling all over themselves to get a chance to know the darkly attractive young man. All in all it looked like things were shaping up to create a hellish evening.

She pulled the door open reluctantly and slowly strolled down the hall. It was already completely dark outside, so the lights of the apartment cast a warm glow over everything. She hesitated at the entrance to the living room. Envy turned away from the window to face her and she felt her heart come to a stuttering stop. He was dressed in a black, button up shirt, although the top three buttons had been left undone showing off part of the muscular chest underneath. It was tucked into a pair of belted, loose black jeans with black cargo boots to complete the outfit. Despite the rather casual nature of the clothing, when it was placed on the physique of the disguised sin it had a stunning effect. His sleek black hair was swept back in its usual, tousled style, and his large dark eyes captured her gaze and refused to let it go. He let out a low whistle.

"Wow. You can actually shine up when you choose to," he commented dryly. She felt her cheeks flush with heat. Ugh. It was just Envy in a different form, but she couldn't help it. He was gorgeous. She swallowed her nerves and found her voice.

"Are you sure you want to look….quite that….appealing? You're going to attract a lot of attention," she murmured skeptically. He crossed the room to her, raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm. I think it'd be more appropriate for me to tell _you_ that," he pointed out blandly, "Are you ready to go?" Amara let out a reluctant sigh.

"No. But I doubt that'll change anything," she muttered. He smirked, a leather jacket appearing on his form with a crackle of electricity. She turned and grabbed her winter jacket from the hook by the door. She would probably freeze on the way to the bar, but it would be hot enough when they got to the crowded joint that it didn't really matter.

A short while later they were strolling down the sidewalk. Their boots crunched softly against freshly fallen snow which was still drifting down slowly from the dark sky. Streetlights created evenly spaced pools of golden light amidst the darkness that consumed the street. The air was unpleasantly crisp, the exposed skin on her cheeks and ears burning and slowly growing numb. Their breath puffed out in small clouds, hanging in the unusually still air. Amara shivered slightly.

"I hate winter," she whispered, huddling in her winter jacket uncomfortably. Envy glanced at her.

"Why?" he sounded puzzled. She shot him a look. The sin was apparently unaffected by the cold. It really wasn't fair.

"Because it's dark, and cold, and miserable," she muttered. There was a brief silence before he finally responded.

"There's plenty of warmth over here if you're cold," he smirked, his tone tormenting. She glared at him.

"_No thank you_," she replied vehemently. She turned her gaze pointedly back down the sidewalk, grateful that her cheeks were already flushed from the crisp air. The bar was several blocks away. Ordinarily she would have taken a taxi, but she wasn't keen on inflicting Envy upon any more people than absolutely necessary. She still hadn't figured out how she was going to keep him from turning the bar into an all-out warzone. There was no way he'd just sit still and behave himself.

They had just turned down another street when Envy abruptly grabbed her arm and dragged her into the alley to their right. His hand immediately went over her mouth to shut her up.

"We're being followed," he explained, his voice low. Amara made a quiet sound of disbelief. Despite the alarming knowledge which he had imparted to her, he led her down the alley at a casually slow pace, almost as if he was waiting for the pursuer to catch up with them. Then Amara's eyes widened. Maybe that was exactly what he was doing. She wasn't sure what sort of creeper would start stalking a couple walking together at night, but she suddenly felt very sorry for them. Envy came to a stop and turned to face the entrance of the alley. Amara let out a gasp of surprise as a group of figures appeared and began heading towards them. There were five of them, and while she couldn't make out their features in the dark alley they were definitely male.

"Just hand over your wallets and we might not have to hurt you," the leader of the group drawled casually, coming across as rather menacing given the circumstances. Envy snorted.

"Just what makes you think we have any money?" he demanded skeptically.

"Well in that case, we'll just take the girl," the man retorted, his tone twisted in a sneer. Amara felt a thrill of alarm as the men closed in on them. Envy chuckled, sounding thoroughly amused.

"Well you're more than welcome to _try,_" he replied dryly. And then the dimly lit alleyway exploded into chaos. Amara stumbled back as Envy lunged forward at the men. She realized with a prick of horror that he'd changed back into his preferred form and his arm had shifted into a blade. Shit. These guys were so totally screwed. Realistically, maybe they deserved it. They probably would have raped her and maybe even killed her. But regardless, there was no way she was comfortable with lives being taken right before her eyes.

"Envy don't!" she cried desperately, knowing it was likely totally useless. She opened her mouth to shout something when a hand clamped over it roughly from behind. She squeaked as she was pulled back against someone's chest and a blade was pressed to her throat. Apparently there'd actually been six attackers. This one had come up behind them from the other end of the alley.

"Back off, or the girl's as good as dead," her captor ordered hoarsely. She realized with some bewilderment the guy actually sounded a bit scared. She glanced back at the scene before her and her eyes widened. The five men were already strewn on the ground. From the moans and half-hearted attempts to move, they were all still alive. But their blood was spilling darkly into the snow around them. Envy stood in the midst of them, his arm still morphed into a blade with black splatters of blood across his arms and face. With the light from the street at his back, his palm-tree like silhouette was suddenly startlingly menacing, while his violet eyes seemed to glow in the dark. Amara drew in a sharp breath. No wonder the guy was scared. He looked downright terrifying like this.

The homunculus turned and strolled towards them slowly. She felt the man behind her begin to tremble, the blade at her neck shaking unnervingly. Then abruptly he dropped the knife and released her, bolting away down the alley with her terrified cry. Time slowed down. Amara saw Envy move to pursue the man and knew all too well that if he was allowed his way none of the men would be alive at the end of it. She swiftly bent and snatched up the knife.

"Envy, stop right there!" She ordered sharply, voice filled with a desperate determination. Something in her tone must have drawn the sin's attention because he paused a moment and glanced at her.

"Don't you dare kill them," she ordered hoarsely, feeling a thrill of fear at having his ominous purple gaze turned on her. Even when she reminded herself that he couldn't realistically do anything to her without injuring himself in the process, there was a primal reaction in the core of her being to the predatory aura radiating from the homunculus.

"But they're criminals," his tone was incredulous as he turned to face her.

"I don't care! I know you don't give a damn about humans or the sanctity of human life but I _do_! So as long as long as you're in _my_ world, under _my _charge, you won't be killing _anyone!_ Am I clear?" The words were brave but her voice wavered and she shrank back slightly when he took a step towards her.

"And just what do you plan on doing to stop me?" his tone was mocking with a threatening edge to it as he took another step towards her. She felt a startling sensation race through her and then her body seemed to go numb as her mind emptied out all thoughts except for one. This was it. She'd promised to throw her life away and now she had to be true to that. She lifted the knife and pressed the blade against her throat.

"Don't push me," she warned softly, her voice almost gentle but deathly serious, "Because I _will _do something we'll both regret if that's what it takes to stop you," she met his terrifying gaze evenly as she felt an incredible rush of adrenalin through her veins. Her heart was pounding a mile a minute and she could feel herself beginning to tremble. She'd thought it would be easy. So many times in the past few months she'd wanted nothing more than to die. She stared down at her bottles of pills and hesitated only because she was afraid there wouldn't be enough there to properly finish her off. Because she was afraid she'd wake up in a hospital, still very much alive and trapped in her life. At least, that's what she'd told herself. But now that it suddenly came right down to it, now that she was literally staring death in the face and she knew there was no way around the fact that she had to take her own life, she came to an earth shattering realization: She didn't want to die. Not here. Not now. Maybe even not ever. She wasn't ready. And she wasn't sure she would actually be strong enough to pull it off.

"Do you really want to die?" his voice was a low purr as he came to a stop in front of her, staring her down with his ominous gaze.

"…No…" she whispered, "But what I want doesn't matter in this case" she could feel herself quivering with tension, a mixture of fear and dread creeping into her heart. She saw his hand reach up towards the knife and she jerked backwards, accidently nicking herself with the blade and opening a shallow cut in her neck. She saw him roll his eyes.

"I won't kill them. Give me the knife," he ordered flatly. She stared at him uncertainly, not at all sure she could trust him.

"You promise?" she whispered hesitantly. She heard him sigh heavily and a moment later there was a crackle of red light. She blinked and saw the form of Enver standing before her once more. The blade for an arm and the blood spatters were gone.

"I promise," he sounded resigned. She swallowed nervously, but slowly lowered the blade from her neck. Then a moment later it slipped from her figures and thudded mutely into the snow. She was trembling much more violently now, and was shocked to realize she was actually on the brink of tears. She couldn't believe how terrified she felt. Not of Envy. She was terrified of the idea of having to take her own life. How many times had she wished for an acceptable reason to take that route? Yet now it was apparent she didn't actually want to die. What exactly are you supposed to do when you've lost the desire to live but you still don't want to die? It was an interesting quandary.

"Do you realize what these men were planning on doing with you? And yet you're willing to throw your life away to make me spare them. You're an idiot," his tone was irritated. A shudder ran through her and she drew in a shaky breath. For once, she actually agreed with him. But not for the reason he was pointing out. She stared up at his expression feeling slightly out of breath. This scuffle had definitely put him on edge. The vibes she was getting off him weren't peaceful, conversational ones; leaving her less willing than ever to take him to see Rachel.

"Do you still want to go to the bar?" she asked out of the blue. He blinked.

"Why wouldn't I?" he sounded skeptical. She shrugged half-heartedly.

"I dunno. Maybe we could find something else to do. Do you really want to be crammed into a hot, dark, loud building packed with intoxicated humans?" she raised an eyebrow. His expression grew thoughtful.

"Well…given that I can't kill any of them without you getting suicidal it does sound like a nuisance," he admitted, "You're willing to ditch your friend?" his tone was curious. Amara snorted.

"She's ditched me more than once because a pretty boy snatched her away. She'll survive," her tone was unconcerned. Envy cocked his head slightly, an odd expression creeping over his face.

"Did you just call me a 'pretty boy'?" he sounded a little incredulous. She blinked several times and then rapidly backpedaled.

"No!" she replied, eyes widening slightly. That _definitely_ wasn't what she'd meant. Especially given what Rachel tended to do with the pretty boys she ran off with… Envy raised an eyebrow looking unconvinced. She let out an exasperated sigh.

"I just watched you nearly slaughter a group of guys. That does not equate with the description 'pretty boy'," she pointed out bluntly. He hummed thoughtfully.

"What if I'd done it in this form?" he asked, his tone darkly amused. Her jaw dropped slightly as she stared at him.

"Doesn't make any difference!" she replied finally, voice a little squeaky. He snorted.

"Right," he didn't sound at all convinced, "So where else is there to go if not to the bar?" he asked. Amara paused a moment to think. Where could they go? I mean, really, what could she do to entertain a human hating instigator like Envy? Short of grievously breaking the law, she didn't really have any ideas…

"Umm…"

"You have no idea," Envy gave her a flat look. She grew slightly sheepish.

"Well…do you feel like doing anything that doesn't involve inflicting bodily harm on people?" she asked uncertainly. His eyes narrowed slightly as he stared at her thoughtfully. She shifted uncomfortably under his intense scrutiny. Then a slow, rather predatory smile spread across his features, making her heart kick into triple time while her stomach did an intense swoop. That expression... On that face... Triggered off a multitude of interesting sensations throughout her body. He took a step closer, invading her personal bubble and making her lean away.

"Envy…" there was a warning tone to her voice.

"I promise not to harm _anyone_ in any way, shape or form, if you promise to go along with my plans for the evening," the way he was grinning wasn't helping her breathe normally. She blinked several times, desperately trying to formulate a response, but with his face so close to hers it was growing increasingly difficult to think straight. He was promising not to hurt anyone. That was good, right? I mean it certainly took a huge amount of worry off of her mind. But his plan for the evening…why was she getting a bad feeling…? This couldn't be a good idea…no, she definitely shouldn't agree to this.

"Well," he drawled expectantly, leaning closer and reaching up to brush a coppery strand of hair away from her face. His fingers brushing lightly across her cheek left a burning trail in their wake. Her mind went blank and her heart came to a stop. Some very distant part of her registered the spark of smug amusement in his deep brown gaze and recognized that he was just toying with her to get his way. But that part wasn't the part of her mind calling the shots at the moment.

"U-uhmm….okay…." she replied a little breathlessly, clearly flustered. He smirked triumphantly and released her from his predatory gaze, brushing past her and strolling towards the alley's entrance. She continued to stare unseeingly into space for a moment, her breathing slowly returning to normal. As her scattered thoughts returned to some form order, a chilling feeling crept into her core. What had she just agreed to?

"You coming ginger brain?" Envy called, glancing back at her from the end of the alley. She swallowed nervously, glancing at him uncertainly before turning to follow him. Why did she suddenly feel like she was in way too far over her head?

* * *

"How do you know where you're going?" she asked, hastening to keep up with his long strides. Navigating through snow and ice in high heeled boots presented a bit of a challenge. He glanced back at her unconcernedly.

"I took the chance to explore this end of the city when I got away from you the other morning," he replied simply.

"I see," Amara glanced around uneasily. There were a bunch of businesses running along the strip of sidewalk they found themselves walking down, and a large parking lot on their left still filled with a number of vehicles. Despite being completely dark out, it wasn't all that late into the evening so there were still plenty of people around.

At that moment Envy came to a stop by the doors of one of the shops and pulled one open, glancing at her expectantly. She glanced in the windows and froze. Why on earth would he want to take her here…?  
"Envy, this is a liquor store. What the hell?" she demanded, suddenly feeling a prick of suspicion. He shot her an impish grin.

"You promised," his voice had a sing-song note to it. She stared at him incredulously.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me,"

"Are you coming or not ginger brain? I'm not going to hold this door forever," he pointed out curtly. She slowly shook her head at him.

"I can't believe you," she muttered, strolling past him into the store.

While she'd technically been of legal drinking age for a little over half a year now, she'd never been much into alcohol. She usually only drank with Rachel, and never got nearly as intoxicated as her blond friend. Partly because she didn't like the feeling of being out of control and partly because she found it much more entertaining to watch everyone around her getting smashed when she herself was relatively sober. Thus, she really didn't even know where to look in such a large store full of liquor. She wasn't even sure what she liked…Rachel was usually the one that picked stuff out. She glanced at Envy to see him looking around the place curiously.

"I didn't realize you drank," She raised an eyebrow at him. He snorted.

"I don't," was his blunt reply. She frowned in puzzlement.

"Then why exactly are we here?" she asked. Envy smirked knowingly.

"Because something tells me you'll be more fun when you're drunk," he replied blandly. Her jaw dropped.

"_Excuse me?!_ Easier to manipulate you mean," she glared at him. His expression grew slightly pouty.

"Saw through that, huh?"

"You're an idiot," she stated flatly. He smirked.

"Says the girl who already agreed to go along with my plans for the evening," he retorted, smugly amused.

"No way am I getting drunk! I don't even like drinking!" she protested, feeling annoyed.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to consider your options. Either you keep your promise and no one gets hurt, or we get to find out just how many people I can maim and slaughter before you manage to take your own life. Your choice," his tone was infuriatingly innocent. She felt anger simmering barely controlled beneath the surface of her calm façade and her hands clenched into fists.

"Have I ever told you just how much I loathe your very existence?" she demanded, a hard edge to her voice. A taunting grin spread across his face.

"Awe, no need to get angry ginger brain. This'll be fun," he said, walking farther into the store.

"What I consider to be fun and what you consider to be fun are two very different things," she muttered, following after him with a dark glare. No way. She wasn't letting him get her drunk and then parade around doing whatever the hell he wanted. There had to be some way to control him… And then a thought occurred to her.

"If you're going to make me drink then you have to drink too," she stated abruptly. He paused, glancing back at her with a disbelieving look.

"And why on earth would I do that?" he demanded flatly. She stared at him thoughtfully for a moment before an innocent expression settled over her features and she glanced away.

"Oh, that's alright. You'd never be able to hold your liquor as well as me anyway," she sounded unconcerned. Keeping a straight face was somewhat challenging, given that she was totally bluffing. Not being much of a drinker, she was pretty much a total lightweight. His eyes narrowed.

"I could never be outdone by a human," he retorted darkly. She met his gaze again with a challenging look.

"Prove it," she smirked. He stared at her for several moments, clearly trying to figure out how to respond. She'd trapped him nicely, and both of them knew it. Then his expression slipped into a flat glare.

"Fine," he replied finally. She managed to limit her surge of triumph to a small grin, not wanting to irritate him further if she could help it. At the same time, a part of her prickled with unease. How on earth would his body respond to alcohol? Given the affect the Neocitrin had had on him, he might be more of a lightweight than her after all…

* * *

Shortly thereafter they found themselves sitting on a park bench. The snow had ceased falling, and while it was still freezing the lack of wind made it tolerable. The park itself was dark, with streetlights lining the edges. Their bench was under just such a streetlight. Amara held the bag of liquor in her lap. She'd picked out a four-pack of coolers, and Envy, despite her warnings against it, had picked out a bottle of straight vodka.

"You're going to find that disgusting you know," she pointed out as he reached into the brown paper bag and pulled his bottle out.

"It can't be any worse than that disgusting medicine you fed me," he retorted. Her eyes narrowed.

"I thought you couldn't remember that," she pointed out suspiciously.

"That isn't a taste one forgets easily," he replied bluntly.

"Hmm," Amara wasn't convinced, "Well I still think you're going to find that very unpleasant," he shrugged unconcernedly and unscrewed the lid before raising it to his lips. She watched him curiously and felt a prick of amusement over the odd expression which crossed his face at the taste of the strong liquid. He managed to swallow it, making a very interesting face in the process. She bit her lip to keep from chuckling.

"I tried to warn you," she pointed out. He gave her an unenthused look, setting his bottle side on the bench.

"Well what do your drinks taste like?" he demanded. She rolled her eyes. She'd somehow expected him to end up drinking what she'd picked out. Reaching into the bag, she pulled out two of the citrus coolers, handing both of them to him.

"Can you open them? I don't have a bottle opener," she explained. He raised an eyebrow, easily flicking off the lids using only his thumbs. He handed one back to her and watched her expectantly.

"It's not poisonous you know," she told him bemusedly. Well…unless you drank too much of it… She raised the bottle to her lips and took a sip, the twist of alcohol in the fruity drink making her shudder slightly. Honestly, she just didn't like the stuff very much. Envy finally copied her and his eyes widened at the different flavor.

"Why does this taste so different?" he demanded, staring at the pinkish liquid in his bottle with a puzzled expression.

"Because the vodka isn't straight," she smirked, "There are fruit juices and such mixed in with it,"

"Huh," he stared at the bottle for a moment before raising it to his lips again. Amara stared at him and then her eyes widened as she watched him easily drain the entire bottle in record time.

"Uh…you might want to slow down a little," she suggested uneasily. He dropped the bottle in the snow and held out his hand for another one. "Maybe you should take a second to see how that affects you… If you've never drank before then you might find…" he ignored her suggestion, reaching past her into the bag and pulling out another one. She let out a resigned sigh. This probably wasn't going to end well. But then, he hadn't had much control with the nutella, so if he'd taken it into his head that he liked these coolers…well…it was a good thing she'd only bought four. Maybe she should try to quickly drink the other two so he couldn't have them….but she knew on an empty stomach that was more than enough to make her quite tipsy…

She took another sip of her cooler, watching him finish his second drink almost as swiftly as the first. For a minute it looked like he was going to reach for another one, and then he hesitated. It was hard to tell with his tanned skin and the dim light levels, but she could just about swear she saw a hint of color in his cheeks. He glanced at her, head cocked slightly.

"I feel….interesting…" his tone was a little unusual and she gave him an odd look. He sounded…friendly.

"Umm, maybe you should hold off on drinking more," she suggested, feeling mildly concerned. He stared at her thoughtfully for a moment, cocking his head further. Then she gasped and the bag of alcohol slid off her lap into the snow as he grabbed her and pulled her into a rib crushingly tight hug.

"Envy, _what are you doing?!" _she squeaked. He pulled back slightly and released her.

"You looked like you needed a hug," he told her frankly, eyes unusually unguarded and sincere. She stared at him wide eyed, utterly floored. There was no question about it. From the unusual expression on his face, to the out of character tone of his voice… He was definitely drunk. But…she _never_ would have pegged him as a 'friendly' drunk.

"You should drink more," he suggested, tone almost concerned, "You look stressed," a worried frown creased his brow. She continued to stare at him. He let out an exaggerated sigh and grabbed the cooler from her hand before holding it up to her mouth. She jerked back.

"Envy! I don't need you to feed it to me," she protested, snatching it back from him.

"Then hurry up and drink it! You're way too grumpy," he pouted. And then he hiccupped. Amara blinked at him, having a hard time focusing on anything other than the bizarrely out of character aura radiating from the homunculus. Then he glanced down at himself with a frown. A moment later red electricity crackled across him and he was back in his usual form. Amara gasped.

"No Envy! You need to…well at least put on some winter clothes or something!" she glanced around nervously, hoping no one had just witnessed the inhuman transformation.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Because you can't go walking around in the middle of winter in a skort and a crop top!" she snapped, her tone exasperated. His expression deteriorated, leaving him looking rather hurt. A crackle of electricity passed over him again creating a normal looking outfit of boots, pants and a dark winter coat with a scarf. His palm-tree-like hair still looked hopelessly out of place, but at least he didn't look like a raving lunatic running around half naked in the snow.

"You're so mean," he complained, staring at her with large, injured eyes.

"I'm…mean…?" she couldn't believe what she was hearing and seeing. He nodded unhappily. She drew in a deep breath. Then she glanced down at the cooler in her hand. This was very clearly going to be a long, bizarre night. She raised the bottle to her lips and finished it in several gulps.

"Yay! My turn!" Envy snatched up the bottle of vodka.

"Woah woah woah!" Amara half tackled him in an attempt to get the bottle away, "Don't start drinking that. You're already drunk enough!"

"I'm not drunk," Envy told her very seriously, holding the bottle away out of her reach. His tone and expression had sobered so quickly that for a minute she almost believed him. Then he gasped and leaned in uncomfortably close to her face, studying her intently as his nose brushed against hers.

"Envy…what…the hell…?" she stared at him with a very weirded out expression, trying to lean away only to have him follow her.

"Your eyes…they're so pretty," he sounded rather awestruck. The expression was so mind bogglingly out of place in his usually ominous, violet gaze. Her eyes widened in utter shock and she gaped at him. When he continued to stare at her earnestly she felt a wave of unexpected, giddy amusement begin to build in her chest, which ended up spilling out in the form of helpless laughter. She leaned away from him, doubling over and clutching at her stomach while she laughed to tears. Of all the things she'd expected to hear from the envious sin, _that_ hadn't been one of them. As she began to pull herself together she heard a sound and glanced at him through the blur of tears to see him easily consuming the bottle of vodka. Damn. She lunged at him and managed to grab it away, but felt a sinking feeling as she found it was already more than three quarters empty.

"Envy…?" she inquired nervously. He glanced around curiously.

"Why are we here?" he inquired. His speech was totally clear and unslurred, but the happy-go-lucky friendly tone practically screamed he was intoxicated. Amara frowned slightly.

"Envy…do you remember your promise about not hurting people?" she asked carefully. He turned a cheerful gaze on her.

"Nope," he replied unconcernedly. Amara felt a pang of anxiety, and it must have showed on her face because Envy's eyes widened.

"But don't worry! We don't have to hurt people if you'd rather do something else!" He reassured her, "I think the blood might stain your coat anyway," he added thoughtfully. Amara stared at him for a moment before wilting. Not only was she stuck with an insanely powerful, psychopathic palm tree; now he was drunk.

"Please just kill me now," she muttered, raising the bottle and finishing off the last of the liquid with a pained grimace.

"But…" his tone made her glance at him in surprise. He looked downright horrified. "I don't want to kill you. I like you!" he told her, eyes wide with worry. She blinked at him slowly.

"You are drunk," she stated blandly. He gave her an odd look.

"No, I'm Envy," his tone was slightly condescending, as if correcting a foolish child. Amara stared at him, a little bewildered. Then suddenly he jumped to his feet. "I want to do something!" he declared. Amara rose hastily and staggered slightly. Huh. Drinking on an empty stomach probably hadn't been the cleverest idea…

"Uh…what exactly…?" she asked warily. Envy abruptly snapped to attention staring down the street and Amara's eyes widened as the sound of ruckus laughter and loud talking could be heard. It seemed a group of guys who were as similarly intoxicated as Envy were headed their way. Suddenly Envy bent down, gathering a very large handful of snow into a ball.

"Envy, what are you doing?" Amara demanded, puzzled. He straightened up, holding his newly formed snowball tucked under his arm. He held a finger to his lips in an order to keep silent and then began to creep down the sidewalk towards the approaching group of young men. The coppertop let out a gusty sigh and followed after him. No point in trying to stop him. Given how absurdly abnormal he was acting, perhaps there wasn't as much of a risk of him creating a violent scene… As they neared the men Envy abruptly grabbed her arm and yanked her into small copse growing along the sidewalk. They waited with bated breath for the men to approach.

"Seriously, Envy, what are you…?" she was cut off as he abruptly leapt forward with a triumphant yell.

"_Sneak attack!_" He threw the snowball and absolutely clobbered the leader of the group, hitting him square in the face and sending him sprawling backwards into the snow. "Score!" he threw his hands in the air in triumph. The other members of the group seemed utterly taken off guard.

"Dude, what the fuck?" one of them demanded. Amara gasped as she saw Envy dart forward, gut clenching in dread as she wondered what exactly he was about to do. The palm-tree-haired sin came to a screeching stop right in front of the startled man and reached up, flicking him lightly on the forehead.

"You're it!" he informed him with a grin, "Catch me if you can!" and then he was gone, racing away in the direction they had just come from. Amara stared after him flabbergasted, before realizing if she wasn't careful she might actually lose him.

"Envy wait! Wait up!" she called, leaping out of the small wood and attempting to race after him. He was cutting across the middle of the park through drifts of snow, which meant that pursuing him was rather difficult in high heeled boots. After a second or two she managed to trip and go sprawling, practically face planting in the snow as her forward momentum kept her from effectively catching herself. She lay stunned for a moment, head spinning slightly as her face burned from contact with the icy fluff.

"Hey! Watcha doin?" a cheerful voice demanded. She glanced up to see Envy staring down at her curiously.

"Making snow angels," she muttered sarcastically. He gasped. Then without warning he fell backwards. Amara could have sworn she felt the ground shake as his body thoroughly crushed the snow and likely made a slight crater in the frozen grown. She blinked, pushing herself up slightly. He abruptly flailed his arms and legs in an odd manor before leaping to his feet and whirling around to inspect his work.

"Tada!" he declared. Amara slowly pulled herself to her feet, staggering over to stand next to him. After a moment she felt a grin spread across her face.

"Congratulations," she told him dryly, "You've created the world's first ever palm-tree angel," it was true. The impression his body had left behind in the dirt was somewhat comical. He blinked at her.

"But isn't it a _snow_ palm-tree angel?" he sounded puzzled. Amara raised an eyebrow.

"It would be if you'd made it in the snow. You carved that thing into the ground," she pointed out blandly. She couldn't help but wonder what people would make of it when they came across it the next day.

"Hey! There they are!" both Amara and Envy jumped slightly and turned to see the group of guy's that Envy had ambushed were actually attempting to pursue them.

"Um…I think we should run," Amara commented uncertainly.

"Ok," Envy replied agreeably. Then he abruptly grabbed her, scooping her into his arms and taking off at a terrifying speed across the park. Amara let out a slight shriek, clinging to him tightly. She closed her eyes against the rush of icy air, burying her face against his jacket and praying they didn't end up getting hit by a car.

A little while later they came to a stop. Amara blinked her eyes open and felt a thrill of surprise. They were back on the street outside the liquor store.

"Those drinks were yummy. We should get more," Envy set her down and gave her a serious stare, "And _you_ didn't drink enough!"

"Uuhhh…" Amara's thoughts were scattered. How much had she had to drink anyway? Judging by the oddly giddy fuzzy feeling, she'd had too much. She wasn't use to hard liquor. Part of her was screaming that she needed to put the brakes on and sober up, but she couldn't seem to remember why it was so important.

"Come on! It'll be fun!" Envy's grin was childishly excited. She stared at his expression for a moment with a growing feeling of amusement. There was something strangely contagious about his enthusiasm. It took a moment for her to register that she had started grinning right back at him. She felt the tiny, sane and sober part of her mind fighting a losing battle to get her attention and remind her why she needed to remain maturely in control of the situation. Mature? Screw that noise. She'd been playing babysitter long enough. It was time to have some fun! She smirked mischievously.

"Alright," she replied, feeling a wash of amused satisfaction as the palm-tree-haired homunculus lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Yippy!" he yanked the liquor store door open forcefully enough that he bent the metal handle. The coppertop snickered slightly.

"If you rip the door off its hinges, I don't think the owner will want to sell anything to you," she pointed out amusedly. Envy's eyes widened in alarm and he hastened to bend the door handle into a more or less normal position.

"Better?" he asked anxiously. Amara giggled at his expression.

"Good enough," she replied, strolling forward through the doorway "Let's do this!" Envy followed after her, a grin returning to his expression.

"I like you better when you're drunk," he commented dryly. She stuck her tongue out at him over her shoulder. The voice of reason had finally decided to shut up and ride out the storm. This was going to be awesome.

* * *

**-Author's Note-**

**Firstly, I don't recommend mimicking Amara and Envy's method of getting drunk. Envy's more specifically. I don't think it would be healthy x'D  
**

******This is decidedly my favorite chapter of the whole story. Nevermind the fact I was depressed while writing it x'D it was still a lot of fun. And I would like to apologize to Edvy fans *sheepish* I know there are a lot of you, I just don't happen to be among your number...please refrain from hunting me down and damaging me...lol**

**Also...I admit... I'm a diehard Lord of The Rings fan. I used writing that scene as an excuse to rewatch the beginning of the first movie lol. Surely to heavens I'm not the only LOTR fan that also loves FMA. They're both amazing. And Tolkien is a mind blowing writer o_o**

**And finally...oh man... Writing Envy drunk caused me physical pain. I kept having to walk away from it. It was overload on my poor, canon-oriented mind lol. I actually have to credit my best friend for coming up with a bunch of the ideas in the latter part of this chapter because I was very stuck for a while. In any case, if you found the rest of the story so far too tame to be crack, I think its safe to say this last scene was firmly in the realms of crack fiction x'D  
**

**I'm sad to say that the next chapter is actually the final chapter of the story. This isn't a very long story, since I'm technically suppose to be working on the sequel to BVOH... But anyway, I'll get the last chapter uploaded early next week ;) probably sunday actually...I seem to have done all my uploading on wednesdays and sundays o.O  
**

**So, reviews are generally a surefire way to make me light up like a christmas tree (like our lovable intoxicated Envy). It's safe to say every review I've gotten so far has made me grin xD you guys are great! It's good to know other people share my sometimes rather odd sense of humor lol. And I apologize for any typos you may find. Truth is still keeping my beta reader quite preoccupied with her life at the moment *glares at the creepy little humanoid***


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Amara let out a soft moan and turned her head, burying it against something warm to escape the light shining on her closed eyelids. Her head was filled with a throbbing, fuzzy, misery which intensified at the movement and made her feel somewhat queasy. As her mind slowly returned to some form of consciousness, a single thought drifted into her mind. Why on earth did she feel so hellishly awful? Even trying to think seemed to make the headache worse. What had happened last night? Her memory felt so fuzzily fragmented. Where was she now? She couldn't be passed out on the ground somewhere, she felt much too comfortable. And…oddly warm…there seemed to be a slight weight around her, and when she paused to take notice of it, whatever she was lying on was slowly moving. Her eyes blinked open rapidly and she winced as she was blinded by rays of morning light streaming through the bedroom window….wait…the bedroom window?

"Finally awake, huh?" the voice came from just above her. She raised her head slightly, blinking slowly as she met slit pupils in a violet gaze. Envy. Some of his palm-tree like hair was splayed around them, while the rest spilled over the pillows. …huh? And then very slowly she glanced down and realized the position she was in. She was nestled against his chest with his arms around her, the covers of the bed partly covering their prone forms. She blinked. Several times. And then she glanced up to meet his gaze again. He raised an eyebrow, a bemused expression on his face. Her head felt far too miserable for any immediate, decisive action. It came as a slight relief that despite their precariously cliché way of waking up after a wild night of intoxication, they were miraculously still clothed. Well…she wasn't sure that really counted in Envy's case, but she was fairly sure he wouldn't have gone to the trouble of redressing her if she'd managed to find her way out of her clothes.

She let out a pained sigh, resting her head back against his chest and closing her eyes against the torturous light.

"What. The hell." She muttered, "Do I want to know how we ended up like this?" her voice was muffled and utterly resigned. She hadn't expected to wake up in the arms of a half-naked homunculus. Granted, half-naked was his normal outfit…

"Can't say I remember…but I must say, I'm rather curious," he murmured dryly.

"How long have you been awake?" Amara inquired.

"A while," he replied unconcernedly. There was a brief silence.

"Then why are we still in this position?" she asked finally, frowning.

"Because you're warm and I'm comfortable," he replied contentedly. She let out a heavy sigh.

"Ugh….I feel horrible," she muttered.

"Really? I feel fine," his tone was bland. She lifted her head slowly to gaze at him in disbelief. His gaze was clear and he didn't appear to be in any sort of discomfort.

"I hate you," she moaned, lowering her head again. The damn homunculus probably couldn't get hangovers thanks to his healing abilities. Although why he wasn't feeling her pounding headache she didn't have a clue.

"I somehow doubt that," he sounded somewhat amused.

"Why?" her tone was rather waspish.

"Well unless you make a habit of cuddling up to your enemies in bed…" he trailed off rather pointedly.

"I was drunk," she defended weakly.

"Uh-huh," he didn't sound convinced.

"Look you, this is your fault," her tone was accusing. He snorted.

"I may have gotten you drunk, but I somehow doubt I forced you into this position," he retorted dryly.

"Ugh...My head hurts too much to argue with you," she sighed. He chuckled.

"And for all your complaining you don't seem too eager go anywhere," he pointed out smugly.

"I hurt too much to move," she muttered disgustedly. Ugh. How had she gotten to the point where she'd rather cuddle with a psychopathic palm-tree than deal with a hangover? "So do you remember anything that happened last night?" she asked tiredly.

"Hmm… a few things…" he murmured thoughtfully.

"Like what?" her tone was apprehensive.

"I didn't know you knew how to dance like that," he sounded oddly admiring. Her eyes widened slightly.

"We were dancing?" she asked in disbelief.

"_You_ were dancing," he corrected smugly.

"I was _dancing?_" her tone was mortified. He chuckled.

"I had to fight off your intoxicated admirers,"

"Wait…what? You didn't…" her tone grew apprehensive. He rolled his eyes.

"I didn't kill anyone. Would you relax?" he demanded, tone exasperated. She swallowed nervously.

"Do you remember anything else?"

"Well…frankly you're probably better off not knowing about a lot of it," he grinned. She frowned.

"How much do you remember exactly?" she demanded suspiciously. He half shrugged, jostling her slightly and making her wince.

"A lot of it…It's just towards the end it gets a little fuzzy. I think I'd had a couple bottles of tequila by that point though…"

"A couple _bottles?_" her voice cracked slightly.

"I think it's safe to say I hold my liquor better than you," his tone was smug. She shook her head slowly.

"I can't believe you made us get drunk,"

"Hey, you're the one that made _me_ get drunk, if you remember that much," he pointed out.

"Cause if I hadn't you would've taken total advantage of me," she retorted defensively.

"Probably," he agreed with a smirk, "You know, I can't actually remember what I was planning to do once you got drunk…" he trailed off thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure I want to know. You're a sick, twisted person," she shuddered slightly. He snorted.

"And your hair looks like a bonfire. Any other painfully obvious comments you'd like to make?" he asked sarcastically.

"Don't get smart with me palm-tree," she glared at him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure you want to take that tone at the moment? There's a lot I can do with this situation without killing you, you know," he pointed out, tone darkly amused. Her expression grew mildly horrified.

"You wouldn't…" she whispered. He snorted.

"Wanna bet? All I'd have to do is switch forms into Enver and you'd probably enjoy it," he retorted smugly.

"_Uugghhh!_ Let go of me you pervert," she snapped, trying to pull out of his hold weakly. He rolled his eyes.

"You are pitifully easy to rile up, you know that?" he sounded bemused. She glared at him flatly, giving up on her attempts to get away when her head began throbbing more fiercely.

"You're a jerk," she muttered.

"Mmmhmmm….say, when was that exam you were so worried about?" he inquired blandly. She felt a horrible dropping sensation in her already unhappy stomach and wilted against him in defeat.

"Early tomorrow morning," her voice was muffled against his crop top.

"Huh….so are you ready?" he asked. She raised her head to give him a flat look.

"Thanks to you, no way in hell," she replied irritably.

"Hmm," he didn't sound particularly concerned.

"Please let me study today," she pleaded, eyes growing larger in a puppy dog gaze. He gave her a slightly weirded out expression.

"You want to study with a hangover?" he asked skeptically. She nodded. He slowly shook his head in disbelief.

"You really are a masochist," he muttered. She sighed.

"Not by choice," her tone was rueful.

"Well…if you put the rest of that movie on, I might let you study for a bit," he conceded finally. Her expression brightened.

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Only if you make more popcorn," he told her flatly.

"Done!" she pulled back out of his grasp and slowly made for the edge of the bed.

"Right now…?" he sounded a little taken aback.

"Yeah! I've got a lot to study," she grimaced as her stomach lurched uncomfortably from rising to her feet. She heard him let out a resigned sigh. As she staggered across the room she set her goal on the extra strength Tylenol in the cupboard. No doubt about it. Today was going to be a bitch.

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming," she muttered sarcastically under her breath.

* * *

**_ 24 hours later_**

Envy was sprawled on her bed, slowing going through another container of nutella. She was staring down at her laptop, trying to will herself into opening it. She had somehow survived yesterday. Envy had blessedly allowed her to study for the entire day, seeming content to watch movies and leave her in peace. In fact, ever since their night of intoxication he'd been a lot easier to get along with…she had no idea what could have happened to have that effect, but she wasn't sure she wanted to know. He'd even accompanied her to the exam that morning without too much hassle and managed to keep himself occupied for three hours without causing mayhem in the streets. She was ridiculously grateful for the unexpected change in the homunculus. But after the exam that morning, she had a sinking feeling that the slight transformation had likely come a little too late. Although….there was a slight chance she'd passed… it had actually gone better than she'd expected. She thought she might even have maybe sort of possibly pulled off a grade of maybe 50. Maybe. She really hoped.

Finally she reached her arm forward and flipped open the laptop, sinking down into the computer chair and opening her browser.

"You look like you're walking to your own funeral," Envy commented dryly. She swallowed nervously, ignoring him. She _felt_ like she was walking to her own funeral. She pulled up the university site and signed in. Her mouse hesitated over the link to her grades. Deep breaths…deep breaths…she could do this. She clicked the button.

Her eyes slowly focused on the screen, drawn to the mark at the bottom of the page. She blinked. And then she felt the ground drop out from underneath her and her entire body seemed to go numb. She couldn't even move. She was frozen, staring unseeingly at the screen. This had never happened before. Ever. She felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over her and then punched her in the gut. She didn't want to believe what her eyes were telling her. She closed her eyes and rested her face in her hands, but the number seemed imprinted on the insides of her eyelids, staring back at her like a mind numbing accusation.

**_47/100 _**

She had failed. The painfully tedious, mind shredding work she had spent the last handful of months trying to force her way through had all been for nothing. She'd failed it. She felt like she was going to be sick.

She slowly rose to her feet and walked numbly out of the room, making for the couch in the living room. She sank down onto it and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her head against them and wrapping her arms around her legs. Her mind was completely blank, but the disappointment and mortification had formed a crushing weight on her chest. A moment later a voice broke through her frozen web of horrified defeat.

"I take it that wasn't good news then," Envy commented blandly. She didn't make any move to respond. She wasn't even sure what to say. "Hey," he sounded slightly irritated, "Are you going to sit and pout about it all day?" he demanded. She slowly lifted her head to stare at him.

"I don't want to do this anymore," her voice was hollow. He blinked.

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry…I'm just…I'm tired of fighting this. Obviously there isn't any point. Apparently it doesn't matter how hard I try when I'm like this, I'm bound to fail anyway. What's the point?"

"The point in what?" he didn't seem to be following her.

"In anything," her voice was despairing. She shook her head. The hopelessness was back in spades. She couldn't keep wading through each day feeling this pointlessly awful. Envy probably wouldn't even be able to distract her at this point. "I know I couldn't face it before, but at this point…I just want to die. I'm tired of dealing with this shit. I just want to feel ok again," she clenched her jaw, holding back tears that wanted to spring to her eyes as she stared at the floor.

"You've got to be kidding me," Envy's voice was flat. She shook her head numbly. "You aren't seriously going to give up on life over something as trivial as this," he sounded disbelieving. She shrugged listlessly. "Oh come on Amara, get over yourself," he sounded exasperated. She glanced at him with a frown.

"Why?" she demanded. He let out a frustrated sigh.

"Take a lesson from that annoying pipsqueak, would you? He had a hell of a lot more reason to give up than you do. He was up against nearly impossible odds and half the time his life was a living hell. But did he give up? No. He didn't. He kept right on bashing his stubborn head against the same wall. And guess what? The little bastard won. He got his damn body back, and his brother's, and even overthrew the most powerful creature in the world. But do you think he would have pulled that off if he'd sat down and cried about how miserable and impossible his life was? No. Not a fucking chance. Now learn something from that you idiot. Being depressed is no excuse to give up on living. You got that?" he demanded heatedly. Amara blinked at him. She hadn't expected him to start ranting at her.

"Yeah, but Ed was special," she muttered. He was a prodigy alchemist, not to mention a cartoon character. It just wasn't the same thing.

"Bullshit! He was an annoying little idiot that made some really stupid choices and ended up paying for them through the nose. And what about that little pink haired wimp in Lior? She was even more pathetic than you, and that's saying something. But even she got her act together and moved on with her life. Claiming inferiority to other people is no excuse. You are just as capable as they are to stand up and climb your damn mountain. And if you choose not to just because it's hard then you're a coward and a fool," he glared at her. She stared at him for a long moment. When had Envy turned into a motivational speaker?

"Why do you care?" she asked finally. He rolled his eyes and actually face-palmed.

"Because if you die I die you numbskull," he sounded exasperated.

"Oh…" she replied quietly. He did have a point there. She wilted in resignation. Why did he have to be so annoyingly chatty and _right_ when she just wanted to be left alone?

"So, have you smartened up yet?" he demanded, fixing her with a serious look.

"But…I failed," she protested weakly.

"So? At least you tried," he didn't sound particularly sympathetic.

"It doesn't matter! I wasn't good enough!" her voice rose slightly in frustration.

"Then make yourself better ginger brain. You're not dead yet you know," he retorted flatly. She let out a soft huff. That was easy for him to say. But it was much harder to actually do. Still…the jerk had a point. And realistically, she recognized she was more frustrated than anything. Dying at this point would just add insult to injury. Hell, she'd survived this long with Envy. Letting a stupid accounting course beat her after all that would be pretty damn pathetic. Finally she let out a resigned sigh. Well, no point in wallowing around in self-pity...

"When did you turn into a wise old sage?" she demanded finally, tone bemused as she effectively changed the subject.

"A wise old sage?" his eyes widened in disbelief.

"I never realized you were into giving motivational speeches," her tone was innocently curious. He glared at her flatly.

"Ha-ha." He retorted, clearly unimpressed. She rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"Alright, relax. I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm just…not happy," she muttered. He raised an eyebrow.

At that moment the front door swung inward. Amara looked up with a start and her eyes widened. Envy raised his eyebrows and made an amused sound.

"Rachel?" she asked, staring at her blond friend in shock. She'd completely forgotten about ditching her the other night.

"Where have you been?" Rachel demanded, crossing her arms and glaring at the coppertop, not moving from her spot in the doorway. She was dressed in her usual beige coat and tall boots, but the lack of makeup and dark circles under her eyes were a telltale sign that she'd been out late the previous night.

"…I was studying," Amara replied lamely, rising slowly to her feet. Her mind had gone blank as she tried to think up some excuse to give her.

"Bullshit! You left me hanging the other night! I came over here to check on you and there was nobody here!" the blond girl said heatedly. Amara raised an eyebrow.

"What, have you been out searching desperately for me the entire time?" her voice was laced with skepticism. Rachel's expression wavered for a moment before returning to a glare.

"Well after coming to the conclusion that you'd decided to spend the night with your boyfriend alone, I went out and found some other friends to spend time with," she retorted defensively.

"Uh-huh," Amara replied. Judging by the somewhat hung-over look her friend had, she'd spent more than one night with her new friends.

"But seriously Amara, what the hell? Why'd you skip out?" the blond demanded.

"Something came up, alright?" Amara replied, frustration coloring her tone. Her brain was too tired and her nerves far too shot to be having to come up with convincing lies on the spot.

"No, it's not alright. You could have at least called me," Rachel pointed out, frowning. Amara raked a hand through her hair in exasperation.

"I didn't have a chance to call you. Besides, I didn't have my phone on me," she replied. Rachel looked like she was about to say something but then she finally seemed to realize there was someone else standing in the room. Her gaze landed on Envy, who was very much still in his usual form, and she actually took a half step backwards, eyes widening.

"Who the hell is that?" she demanded, shock and uncertainty clear in her voice. Envy smirked at the girl's reaction. Amara turned to give him a flat look. He raised his hands defensively.

"Hey, it's not my fault she burst in before I could change. Unless you _want_ me to shape shift in front of her," he pointed out blandly. The coppertop face palmed. Wonderful. There was no way she'd be able to come up with a convincing excuse now…

"…what is he talking about? Amara, what is going on here?" Rachel's tone was filled with irritated confusion as she glanced from the unfamiliar palm-tree-like creature to her friend. Amara rolled her eyes. Screw it.

"He's the reason I ditched you the other night," she told the blond bluntly. Rachel stared at her like she couldn't quite believe what she was hearing.

"You ditched me for a _cross dresser_?" her voice cracked slightly. Amara saw Envy's expression slip into a glare out of the corner of her eye and she let out a soft sigh.

"Yep," her expression was flat. Her friend gaped at her.

"You're saying a freaky ass hermaphroditic pine tree takes precedence over me?" she sounded slightly outraged. Amara's jaw dropped slightly and her eyes widened. Envy…a…pine tree? Well…he was certainly prickly enough for the name to fit… She shook her head slightly to clear it.

"Yes. He does. Because I know _you_ won't go on a rampant killing spree if I leave you unattended," the coppertop replied frankly. Rachel glanced back at Envy, expression deteriorating further.

"Wait…what?" she looked decidedly creeped out, "What happened to Enver?" she demanded suspiciously. Envy's expression had darkened alarmingly, and suddenly Amara felt concerned for her friend's wellbeing. She stepped in his direction.

"Envy," she said warningly.

"Oh, you mean this guy?" the homunculus's tone was mocking as red light crackled over his form, transforming him into the tall, dark, young man Rachel had seen before. Amara's heart stuttered slightly and then she felt an uncomfortable sinking feeling in her chest. Something about his expression told her he wasn't finished yet… She glanced hastily back at her friend and saw the blond had gone very pale.

"Rachel…are you ok?" the coppertop asked uncertainly. Her friend's eyes widened, fear evident in her expression.

"Amara, what is he?" her voice was a hoarse squeak.

"You think that's neat? How about I show you something _really_ interesting," his tone was darkly amused with a threatening edge.

"Envy don't you dare!" Amara cried, lunging towards him and grabbing a hold of his arm. She could somehow tell by his tone and expression just what he had in mind. But no way in _hell_ was she going to let him change into his true form in the middle of her apartment. Except…with her commands over him no longer in effect, she wasn't quite sure how to go about stopping him. She tensed in surprise as she felt the odd sensation of red electricity crackling beneath her fingers. Shit.

_Truth, you bastard! It's time to step in!_ She yelled mentally, staggering back with a feeling of dread as she watched the homunculus transforming into something much larger than her apartment could possibly hold. Damn. She was going to get crushed to death under debris as Envy brought the entire building down around them. This would be a really stupid way to die. And here she'd decided to get her act together and move on with her life…

And then everything went black.

* * *

_"My, my, my. I'm impressed you managed to hold things together this long without any subjugation abilities," the inhuman voice echoed around her. Her eyes blinked open to find she was once again in the familiar white space with the door and the annoying little white creature known as Truth._

_"Dammit all! Why'd you yank me back here?!" Envy's voice was mildly irate. Amara felt a surge of anger as she realized the homunculus was standing next to her in his usual form. She turned and shoved him forcefully. He staggered back a step in surprise, clearly taken off guard._

_"You stupid idiot!" She hissed._

_"What the hell ginger brain?" He demanded defensively. _

_"How could you do something like that?!" She cried, outraged. Envy rolled his eyes._

_"I wasn't going to hurt her," he scoffed._

_"You would have destroyed my entire apartment!" she pointed out furiously. Envy blinked._

_"Oh… didn't think of that," he admitted. He almost sounded slightly sheepish. _

_"Ugh," Amara raked a hand through her hair. _

_"Well. You two seemed to have formed a wonderful, warm and fuzzy friendship. I'm almost reluctant to break you up, seeing how sweet you are together," Truth's tone was mildly sarcastic. Amara turned a bewildered expression on him._

_"Excuse me?" she demanded. _

_"In all seriousness, the two of you have managed far better than I expected. I'm rather glad I chose to give him to you for a while," the humanoid commented blandly. _

_"Great, so you stuck me with him just long enough for me to fail my exam?" Amara asked, exasperated. _

_"Yes," Truth replied frankly. The coppertop's eyes widened._

_"You mean you did that intentionally?" she yelped. _

_"Its good for you humans to fail every now and then. Keeps you humble," it replied dryly. _

_"You've got to be kidding me!" her tone was outraged as her hands balled into fists. _

_"And it also serves to bring you back to reality. Your worst case scenario happened. Do you really feel like dying over it?" Truth demanded. If it had eyebrows, Amara got the feeling one would be raised. _

_"…well…no…" she muttered, glaring at the ground. _

_"That's what I thought. Now that that course is over, do yourself a favor and don't subject yourself to another one. Go take something you actually like," it suggested. _

_"Yeah, well my dad will probably make me move back in with him now," she grumbled. _

_ "No he won't. He's a little…preoccupied at the moment…" Truth trailed off evasively. Amara glanced up at the creature in surprise before her eyes narrowed._

_ "What do you mean?" she demanded suspiciously. _

_ "Well you aren't the only one that needed tuning up you know," it told her bluntly. Amara's mind reeled with the implications suddenly bombarding her. The bizarre texts she'd been getting…did that mean…?_

_ "What the hell are you saying?" her voice had gone a little hoarse. It shrugged carelessly._

_ "I gave him some company. You may find him a little more attentive in the future," Truth explained unconcernedly. Amara felt a very unpleasant sinking feeling in her chest. She had a very bad feeling she knew what the creature meant by 'company'. And if it was anything like the company it had dumped into her own life…_

_ "Who?" she bit out. Her voice had a hard edge to it._

_ "Well the younger teen version of Edward was complaining about having nothing to do once his older self took over the role in the story," it explained._

_ "You gave my dad _Edward_?!" she demanded in disbelief. Truth nodded. _

_ "Indeed. And Pride," it added. _

_ "WHAT?!" She shrieked, eyes widening further. _

_ "He was getting a little too snobbish for my tastes," _

_ "You're telling me my father is saddled with both Edward Elric and Selim Bradley the evil homunculus?" she demanded, voice quivering with barely controlled, horrified anger. _

_ "Yes. I believe he's finding it challenging managing them and his job. Perhaps you'd like to help him now that your course is finished?" it suggested helpfully._

_ "You have got to be fucking kidding me!" She snapped. _

_ "My, my, you really did rub off on her Envy," Truth commented blandly. Amara glanced briefly at the palm-tree-haired homunculus to see him grinning from ear to ear at her predicament._

_ "Well you can't really blame her," he drawled, "The pipsqueak _and_ father's creepiest little child? You're even crueler than me," his tone was dry. Amara rolled her eyes at his tone. A feeling of urgency had settled over her._

_ "Alright, let me go. I've got to go help him before they get loose and destroy the world," she grumbled. _

_ "I knew I could count on you Amara," Truth sounded ever so slightly smug. _

_ "Don't push your luck!" She growled, glaring blackly at it. _

_ "And if you need a hand, I'll send Envy back. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help you keep the two of them in line. Especially if he starts getting rambunctious again," it replied reassuringly. Envy's grin disappeared and his expression grew guarded._

_ "Why does that sound like a threat?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at the white humanoid. It grinned alarmingly._

_ "What, don't feel like helping out your new friend?" it asked slyly. _

_ "Friend? The ginger brain? Hell no," Envy retorted, sounding ever so slightly perturbed at the idea of being sent back to babysit the two boys. _

_ "Ugh. I hate both of you," Amara muttered, feeling thoroughly disgusted with the two of them. As her vision began to grow blurry she saw Envy smirk._

_ "Goodluuuuck," she heard his sing-song voice calling after her._

_ "I'll be checking in on your later. As before, do try not to die. You're turning out to be more useful than I expected," Truth's voice echoed around her as everything faded to black. _

Amara's eyes snapped open and she drew in a sharp breath. She was lying on the living room carpet. She turned her head and saw Rachel collapsed near the door. And as she'd somehow expected, there was no sign of Envy. Which meant only one thing: She had to get the hell over to her dad's house before all hell broke loose. In fact, she was astounded it hadn't already, given that her dad seemed to have been saddled with them nearly as long as she'd been stuck with Envy. She scrambled unsteadily to her feet. Of course she'd likely have some explaining to do with Rachel when the girl woke up…she rubbed her forehead tiredly. Right when she'd thought things were starting to sort themselves out, Truth went and dumped an even bigger problem on her… well screw him. She'd prove to the little bastard she could handle anything he threw at her. Although, she was genuinely concerned over the condition her poor, distracted father would be in after spending a week with the two, radically different yet equally troublesome boys. Still…after a week with Envy, she was pretty sure she could handle whatever she found when she got there. She raised her head to glare at the ceiling defiantly. Wherever the hell the creature was, she was sure he could see her.

"Bring it on," she smirked.

* * *

**-Author's Note-**

**And that my friends, is the end of this story. **

**And to answer what I suspect will be the first question I get asked: Will there be a sequel? ...umm...maybe... Depends on whether or not I get the inspiration, and when I get the time to write it if I do. I mean, I guess I've kinda left you all hanging to some degree x'D and since I've gotten a lot more positive feedback than I was originally expecting, I wont rule out a sequel as a possibility. Its just probably going to be a little while in coming, so don't hold your breath lol. I'll post a little update thing on this story if I do manage to write something. Although aside from a sequel, I'm sorely tempted to write a one-shot of what happened while they were drunk... xD we'll see!**

**And on the topic of positive feedback, holy man you guys. My mind was rather blown by the number of responses I got to the previous chapter x'D I'm _really_ glad you all like it. I think I may be in danger of getting a big head *sheepish* gotta say though, you guys work better than antidepressants lol. It's been a real boost, so thank you! :)**

**A random comment: in my experience it takes _weeks_ to get feedback from your tutor for an exam in a correspondence university course. So for the purposes of this story Amara's tutor was _extremely_ efficient lol. And if you're curious, yes, I did fail Intermediate Accounting 351. That's what happens when you're manic for your midterm and depressed for your final. Yay bipolar disorder. *wilt* ...Although I'd much rather have had the excuse that Envy burst in and kept me from studying...xD**

**I think that covers everything I wanted to say... I hope the last chapter wasn't disappointing. It's the shortest one of the book unfortunately. And some of you wanted more EnvyxAmara, and well...I hope them waking up in bed together satisfied that x'D feel free to use your imagination, although I may eventually write a one-shot about it. I did warn there wouldn't be any actual pairings xP**

******Thank you all for reading and reviewing and following/favoriting!** You guys are awesome :)  



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